Heee's back—well, sort of

The Mavericks: I can't claim to understand what's motivating this recent slump from O.J. Mayo, but I think it's true that some players get uncomfortable with someone approaching in the rearview. For most of Mayo's NBA career, this someone has come in the form of another guard, but at the moment I suspect he's being negatively affected by the return of "the man" for the Mavericks. So far, this season, Mayo has been leading the Mavericks in scoring, meaning he's been sitting in what's been Dirk's favorite chair for the last decade.

As far as objects in the mirror go, Dirk's vehicle must be closer than it seems, because at the moment the idea of the aging Hasselhoff enthusiast leading the team in anything seems pretty farfetched. Mavericks fans are still waiting for the Blonde Bomber to reach double-digits, as his 9 points on 11 attempts signified a season-high in both categories. Still, it could be worse; he could be a 25 year old O.J. Mayo, having just shot 1-7 for 4 points. Mayo's lone field goal was from deep. His other point came when he was fouled attempting a three, and only made one of three shots from the line to the delight of the crowd at the peculiarly named Chesapeake Energy Arena (which is in Oklahoma, not Maryland).

For the moment, OKC has gained the upperhand in the Interstate 35 rivalry. A lot of this stems from them employing that Kevin Durant fellow, who scored 40 points. We all knew that the town sheriff, John Wayne the Durantula, would get his in an overtime game, but his drunken deputy Dean Martin Russell Westbrook couldn't shoot straight for most of the game. Westbrook made only 4 of his 16 shots in regulation, which goes a long way towards explaining why there was an overtime. Once overtime was underway however, Westbrook found his stroke, making 3 straight shots. When the battle was done and the smoke had cleared, the Thunder stood victorious, and the Mavericks had lost for the 7th time in 8 games.

Just look at that Celtic D

The Celtics: The Lakers sure picked a helluva season to launch their foray into mediocrity. So far the Clippers have stolen their accustomed place atop the Pacific Division, taken a serious bite into their fanbase, and during last Thursday's coveted TNT time-slot, they even went so far as to steal their historic rival. The Clippers are pretty new to this, so they can be forgiven for not realizing that a good rivalry is all about drama, opting instead just to give the Celtics a remarkably one-sided beating. The 29 point victory set the franchise record for a margin of victory over the Celtics, surpassing a 23 point victory that occurred on December 27th, 2006—precisely 6 years prior.  

The Clippers added insult to injury by letting Matt Barnes lead them in scoring. Of all the Celtic starters, only Kevin Garnett had more points than field goal attempts. The visitors barely limped their way to 40% shooting, and had significantly fewer team assists than the Clippers, even after LA's total turnovers were subtracted from the sum. Yet none of these factors were the main one according to Garnett.

Lacktion:

Clippers-Celtics: It's probably got nothing to do with the beating they received, but Jason Collins is still starting for the Celtics. In addition to a franchise record margin of victory, this resulted in a 4:1 Voskuhl in 17 minutes and 11 seconds of horror.

Labels: Jason Collins, Kevin Garnett, O.J. Mayo, The Clippers

Like I mentioned a few days ago, I've gotten a handful of amusing submissions that I hadn't had time to do anything with. So I figured I'd mash them all together into one big basketbawfully stew...kind of like a nice Hungarian goulash.

First, here's O.J. Mayo getting a little booty love after a very manly dunk on the Hornets in summer league action. [From Caleb.]


Next up is an example of what happens when somebody hijacks a Wikipedia page. See if you can figure out what's what with Tim Duncan's biography. It has since been fixed. You can go here for a larger version. [From Michael.]


Did you know the WNBA keeps track of who's hot and who's not? I presume they're talking about stats and not, uh, other stuff, but still. [From Rich.]


Is Dirk Nowitzki a fan of the movie Men In Black? Because he's got Will Smith's subtle flip-off technique down pat. The question is: What did Chris Kaman do to piss Dirk off? Maybe he's just jealous that Chris gets to play for the Clippers. [From Anne.]


This next one is from Martin, who said: "We know nobody likes the Pacers and the Oklahoma team needs a logo and all. I guess that's the reason the SI team decided to stick Oklahoma season ticket holders story to the Pacers' tab. Or maybe after Bennett stole a whole team, now he will just steal another team's logo."


My buddy Craig from The Association -- a big-time Lakers fan -- was a little, shall we say, displeased when he ran across this t-shirt. "I am constantly haunted by the 2008 NBA Finals. I saw this and other Celtics gear at the Adidas Outlet near my house...IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!! You can use this email as evidence against me after I firebomb the place." That, my friends, is what we call bitterness.


BadDave emailed me this link to a blog post called The Utah Jazz: A Stiff White Retrospective. Funny stuff. The most stunning thing about the post, however, is that I hadn't already written it. To celebrate that post, I submit a Greg Ostertag man love special. (I'm not sure, but I think he might have found the link at Ball Don't Lie. Update! Actually, he found it at TrueHoop.)


And finally, here's a screen capture of the official Web site of NBA officials. [From Stephanie G.]

Labels: Celtic Pride, Chris Kaman, Dirk Nowitzki, fan submissions, Indiana Pacers, man love, O.J. Mayo, referees, Tim Duncan, Wikipedia, WNBA