UPDATE: To all you Kevin McHale lovers out there...I spent my formative years in Boston during a time when you didn't have the full basketball story until you heard it from, first, Larry Bird, and second, Kevin McHale. In the 80's, reporters would flock to Larry, and then Kevin, after a big game. And Kevin never disappointed. So my Kevin McHale expectations are pretty damn high. Doesn't mean I don't like him. It means I expect a lot from him. After being a front office guy for so many years, the relaxed, easygoing, shoot-from-the-hip McHale is now stiff and uncertain in front of the camera. He is not the KM I adored lo so many years ago. I think he has the potential to be great (much in the way that Barkley is great, or in the way Conan O'Brien, who in his first year as a talk show host was awful, became at ease in the limelight, and turned his tall, angular frame into a comedic asset rather than a freak-show detriment). Yes, I'm making fun of Kevin, but it's just tongue-in-cheek. Stay cool, my babies, as Conan would say. My criticism comes from love, and the sincere hope that he can return to being what he once was.
Ok, enough of this smarmy love letter. On to the Live Blog.
*********************
Here's your Kevin McHale-style intro to this live blog:
Let's play ball, folks!
Commentators: Kevin Harlan / Kevin McHale
When did Kevin McHale (heretofore referred to as the “personality drain,” and “KM”) become uncool? I remember like 25 years ago he did some promotional appearance at Bank Five in Arlington, Massachusetts, and there was nobody there to see him. I could have talked to him for an hour, but I was a doofy teenager and didn’t have the nerve, and didn’t have anything to say. Now I feel like Kevin and my “something to say” roles are reversed:
His opening analysis? “Both teams want to win this game tonight.” Brilliant.
God, I still wish I had found the nerve to chat with him 25 years ago, or at least managed to build a time machine so that my 40-year-old self could chat it up with him. Oh, well, today’s Kevin will have to do. One thing I did gain from doing this live blog is the realization that he can be funny and enlightening if you:
- Squint really hard.
- Pay close attention to what he says, then immediately disregard it and make up your own commentary.
- Imagine Bill Walton in his place.
1st quarter
11:05 – Pierce gets called for his first foul for letting Tony Parker run into, and fall onto, him.
10:50 – KG jumper rattles in.
10:11 – KG gets called on a moving pick on Ginobili, who “sells it well” according to the personality drain. McHale points out that Ginobili was voted second-best flopper in the league. I saw that in my Sports Illustrated, so Kevin only gets a ½ point for “enlightening comment.” Number one vote getter in that flop contest? Derek Fisher. True enough, but Ginobili is still the most creative and versatile flopper, and he has the best flop video dedicated to him.
9:20 – Pierce tries to go up for a weak dunk off a rebound. Duncan stops the shot effortlessly, making Pierce look like a runt amateur.
8:54 – Glen Davis with a nice little 8-foot hook shot. The C’s would be dead without his ability to play taller than he is. And his ability to exude emotion that goes way beyond what is necessary.
7:43 – Rondo hits his second consecutive jumper. Wow. Are the planets aligned or something? Moon full?
Celtics 15 – Spurs 15
Jermaine O'Neal is in the game. Apparently he’s 12 pounds lighter to keep the extra weight off his knees. This may not seem like much, but I recently learned that every pound lost supposedly takes 4 pounds of weight off the knees. Seems like BS – not sure if it’s true, but it sounds good. I was watching some cable show called HEAVY about morbidly obese people trying to lose weight (did you know one-third of all shows on TV are now about morbidly obese people trying to lose weight? True fact), and the doctor told this enormous woman that very thing. Maybe he was just feeding her lines to make her feel better (and because she needed to be fed something). The doctor said something nice to her to encourage continued weight loss, but it would have been so awesome if instead he said something like “You’ve gone from 375 pounds to 345 pounds, Melinda. So before, it was like you were carrying the weight of the Eiffel Tower on your knees, but now, it’s like you’re carrying the weight of a...well...slightly smaller Eiffel Tower.”
Unintentionally dirty KM line of the evening: “I’m excited about O’Neal’s shape.”
4:28 – Parker slices through some we-can’t-play-defense-because-Perk-is-gone-even-though-he-was-injured-most-of-the-season-anyway-and-well-really-we’re-just-using-it-as-an-excuse-to-conserve-energy-and-limp-into-the-playoffs Celtics’ defense.
Spurs 21-17
3:32 – George Hill 3-pointer.
3:06 – Delonte West jumper. Can almost imagine him saying “I’m contributing!” in an over-excited, Downs Syndromy voice.
2:27 – Parker drives, gets foul call. KM is calling him “the best guard finisher since Nate ‘Tiny’ Archibald.” Is KM looking to compete with Bill Walton for the crown of King of Overstatement?
1:50 – Pierce follows a Rondo miss with an aggressive rebound between two spurs, hits the shot, foul call. Pierce asks for new ball to free throw, because it’s wet with sweat. KM provides a wonderful things-most-people-can’t identify-with comment: “Get my golf towel.”
:42 – Rondo with great, hanging up and under layup. KM comments that Rondo is “the best guard finisher since Tony Parker.” No he didn’t. Just kidding.
2nd quarter
11:11 – Ginobili three pointer
Spurs – 36-31
8:56 – Jeff Green follows his own miss. Teammates collectively give him a nice-shot-but-we’re-still-mourning-the-loss-of-Kendrick-Perkins look.
Movie ad Alert: The dragon-and-flagon comedy Your Highness. What is promising: Danny McBride is in it. Not Promising: “From the makers of Pineapple Express.” Marketers are actually using this as a selling point? Did they see Pineapple Express? I did. In the theater. It was a Date Night movie, and I picked it. Paid money and everything. When it was over, I had to look at my wife and say, simply, “Sorry.” So I would revise the ad to say “From the makers of Pineapple Express, but don’t worry – they learned from it, and this is way better, and not 20 minutes too long.”
6:35 – Ginobili makes KG look silly, faking a pass inside around KG’s right flank, turning KG full around, and hitting a layup over him. KM calls it the “Larry Bird Okeydoke” – and says “I always used to fall for that in practice.” I’m starting to realize what KM has decided his commentator “thing” is – self-deprecation. This will come up again later.
4:56 – Rondo goes coast to coast – then gets T’d up for “excessive hand gesturing.” Question: can you give a ref the finger and get the same call? Because I think flipping the bird would really be getting your money’s worth.
4:37 – Nenad Krstic pokes the ball from Duncan. Apparently, he can, in fact, play defense…against old men.
2:19 – The Lord giveth (in the form of Jermaine O’Neal), and the Lord taketh away. Krstic goes down with mysterious, disturbing no-contact knee injury. The other Celtics show zero emotion about the loss. There is a brief shot of Rondo on the bench twisting a needle into the knee of a Nenad Krstic Voodoo doll. I think this development could actually be good for the Celtics – with all their depression over losing the well-liked Perkins, is it helpful to have him replaced by a big, balding, European who plays mediocre defense, good offense, and can hit his free throws? He’s like the anti-Perkins, and a constant off-putting reminder of the trade. Krstic and Perkins are complete polar opposites, alike only in that English is their second language.
Half – 49-49
Halftime comment: My appreciation of Kevin McHale automatically rises ten-fold at the sight of brand new TNT commentator, Rick Fox. His slicked back hair and annoying good looks scream L.A., and yeah, I know he was a Celtic for a while, but he was overrated, and always had that God-I-wanna-play-in-LA look about him. And what kind of world do we live in where appearing on Dancing with the Stars is an effective springboard to career rejuvenation?Although I must admit, I love you, Ralph Macchio.
3rd Quarter
10:58 – Parker drives the lane and finishes for what seems like the tenth time. I’m starting to think his guy is the best finisher since Tiny Archibald.
9:08 – Glen Davis rebounds Allen miss, hits patented undersized-but-somehow-can-finish layup.
Unintentionally dirty KM quote #2: “That was a nice rim-run by Davis.”
8:20 – McDyess leaves with what appears to be an ankle sprain.
7:31 – After great Rondo finish, Parker right back for an And One, getting the foul call on Glen Davis.
6:34 – Bonner hits his second three in a row.
Spurs – 65-61
5:08 – Rondo defensive rebound, full length pass to Green for a lay up.
4:10 – Rondo jumper falls. Startling to see Rondo nailing outside shots. It’s like watching a panda juggle. 67 apiece.
3:45 – Rondo coast to coast, layup under Bonner’s armpit. KM calls it the “Right Guard shot.”
3:12 – Rondo jumper. KM proclaims: “It’s the Rondo show.” This is the same man who essentially said that it’s not a problem that Rondo can’t hit jumpers, because defenders lay off him and give him better looks at driving and passing lanes. Interesting theory, but Rondo is showing that actually hitting jumpers is kind of an effective tool for a guard to have.
1:46 / 1:17 – Jeff Green hits two difficult, contested lay-ups, shows why the Celtics wanted him. He has 8 points…4 of 6 from the floor.
Shot of Rondo sucking wind and drinking water on the bench after carrying the C’s for several minutes.
:14 – Ginobili makes nice move for lay up. KM calls it the Euro-step, which is essentially a side step that looks a little like traveling. KM’s self-deprecation rises from the ooze. “I’d pull a groin if I tried that.” And then adds that if he were an official, he’d be a crap one: “I’d call a travel on that all the time.”
4th quarter
McDyess is back.
Celtics – 79-70
10:40 – George Hill gets called for being out of bounds. He’s out by a foot. KM leans on the self-dep: “Even I coulda made that call and got it right. I’d be a bad ref too, by the way.”
KM notes they’ve put Ginobili on Rondo to put some size on him.
9:46 – Ginobili snakes in for a nice floater. KM: “It's almost Manu time.”
9:15 – Glen Davis and KG lock arms make a giant, football-style wedge screen for Rondo to shoot. KM says: “Look at the big green wall!” and he’s not even at Fenway. Who’d a thunk the C’s would be working to get Rondo to take a jumper?
Celtics – 86-78
7:44 – Allen hits big three. Big for him, as he’s been terrible tonight.
Celtics’ Defense is picking up. Must be the absence of that distracting anti-Perk European dude.
5:15 – Another Rondo jumper. 22 points, 0 turnovers. Not a typo. 0.
4:32 – After Glen Davis jumper to make it 93-81, see a brief glimpse of what appears to be the sexiest Celtics fan ever. Rewind DVR…not as good as I thought, but I was fooled by the form fitting lady-version Celtics jersey. Lady Jerseys. Best. Invention. Ever.
4:20 – Tim Duncan rises over Big Baby, who isn’t big enough to stop a grown man. KM states: “Big Baby did everything he could, besides grow.” Funny. Yay, old-style Kevin. Duncan has 9 in the quarter. Swallows a fly on one of his jumpers.
4:00 – KG jumper, which is deadly tonight – he’s 7 of 9
2:52 – Pierce drives, misses, rebounds own miss and puts it in. Big play.
2:19 – KG money jumper. Celtics: 99-90
1:46 – KG money jumper: Celtics: 101-92
Unintentional dirty quote from Harlan: “What a stroke for Kevin Garnett!”
1:29 – Rondo to Big Baby for reverse lay up. Celtics: 103-92. Game over.
Duncan called for goaltending. Game overer.
1:24 – Rondo shooting freethrows. KM calls it “Hack a Rondo” time. But Rondo doesn’t touch the ball from this point.
Rondo 22 points, 14 assists, 0 turnovers, 5 rebounds.
The game sign off sounds a little like an Airplane movie bit:
“Good working with you, Kevin.”
“Good working with you too, Kevin.”
“We have clearance, Clarence.”
“Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?”
“Tower's radio clearance, over!”
“That's Clarence Oveur. Over.”
“Over.”
“Roger.”
“Huh?”
Update:
This Division III guy is only 3 inches taller than me. Talented bastard. After his youtube dunk vid went viral, he proceeded to win the NCAA dunk contest. Props, homey.
Oh, and this mass hysteria happened. Hate everybody's behavior in this vid...Blake doing his best Manu Ginobili impression, Terry not letting it go, Barnes being one serious street thug who needs to be in every altercation. After the game, a guy in the parking lot was arguing with a hot dog vendor about the cost of a weiner, and Barnes went out and got involved in that too:
Ok, enough of this smarmy love letter. On to the Live Blog.
*********************
Here's your Kevin McHale-style intro to this live blog:
Let's play ball, folks!
Commentators: Kevin Harlan / Kevin McHale
When did Kevin McHale (heretofore referred to as the “personality drain,” and “KM”) become uncool? I remember like 25 years ago he did some promotional appearance at Bank Five in Arlington, Massachusetts, and there was nobody there to see him. I could have talked to him for an hour, but I was a doofy teenager and didn’t have the nerve, and didn’t have anything to say. Now I feel like Kevin and my “something to say” roles are reversed:
His opening analysis? “Both teams want to win this game tonight.” Brilliant.
Winning! Duh.
God, I still wish I had found the nerve to chat with him 25 years ago, or at least managed to build a time machine so that my 40-year-old self could chat it up with him. Oh, well, today’s Kevin will have to do. One thing I did gain from doing this live blog is the realization that he can be funny and enlightening if you:
- Squint really hard.
- Pay close attention to what he says, then immediately disregard it and make up your own commentary.
- Imagine Bill Walton in his place.
1st quarter
11:05 – Pierce gets called for his first foul for letting Tony Parker run into, and fall onto, him.
10:50 – KG jumper rattles in.
10:11 – KG gets called on a moving pick on Ginobili, who “sells it well” according to the personality drain. McHale points out that Ginobili was voted second-best flopper in the league. I saw that in my Sports Illustrated, so Kevin only gets a ½ point for “enlightening comment.” Number one vote getter in that flop contest? Derek Fisher. True enough, but Ginobili is still the most creative and versatile flopper, and he has the best flop video dedicated to him.
9:20 – Pierce tries to go up for a weak dunk off a rebound. Duncan stops the shot effortlessly, making Pierce look like a runt amateur.
8:54 – Glen Davis with a nice little 8-foot hook shot. The C’s would be dead without his ability to play taller than he is. And his ability to exude emotion that goes way beyond what is necessary.
7:43 – Rondo hits his second consecutive jumper. Wow. Are the planets aligned or something? Moon full?
Celtics 15 – Spurs 15
Jermaine O'Neal is in the game. Apparently he’s 12 pounds lighter to keep the extra weight off his knees. This may not seem like much, but I recently learned that every pound lost supposedly takes 4 pounds of weight off the knees. Seems like BS – not sure if it’s true, but it sounds good. I was watching some cable show called HEAVY about morbidly obese people trying to lose weight (did you know one-third of all shows on TV are now about morbidly obese people trying to lose weight? True fact), and the doctor told this enormous woman that very thing. Maybe he was just feeding her lines to make her feel better (and because she needed to be fed something). The doctor said something nice to her to encourage continued weight loss, but it would have been so awesome if instead he said something like “You’ve gone from 375 pounds to 345 pounds, Melinda. So before, it was like you were carrying the weight of the Eiffel Tower on your knees, but now, it’s like you’re carrying the weight of a...well...slightly smaller Eiffel Tower.”
Unintentionally dirty KM line of the evening: “I’m excited about O’Neal’s shape.”
4:28 – Parker slices through some we-can’t-play-defense-because-Perk-is-gone-even-though-he-was-injured-most-of-the-season-anyway-and-well-really-we’re-just-using-it-as-an-excuse-to-conserve-energy-and-limp-into-the-playoffs Celtics’ defense.
Spurs 21-17
3:32 – George Hill 3-pointer.
3:06 – Delonte West jumper. Can almost imagine him saying “I’m contributing!” in an over-excited, Downs Syndromy voice.
2:27 – Parker drives, gets foul call. KM is calling him “the best guard finisher since Nate ‘Tiny’ Archibald.” Is KM looking to compete with Bill Walton for the crown of King of Overstatement?
1:50 – Pierce follows a Rondo miss with an aggressive rebound between two spurs, hits the shot, foul call. Pierce asks for new ball to free throw, because it’s wet with sweat. KM provides a wonderful things-most-people-can’t identify-with comment: “Get my golf towel.”
:42 – Rondo with great, hanging up and under layup. KM comments that Rondo is “the best guard finisher since Tony Parker.” No he didn’t. Just kidding.
2nd quarter
11:11 – Ginobili three pointer
Spurs – 36-31
8:56 – Jeff Green follows his own miss. Teammates collectively give him a nice-shot-but-we’re-still-mourning-the-loss-of-Kendrick-Perkins look.
Movie ad Alert: The dragon-and-flagon comedy Your Highness. What is promising: Danny McBride is in it. Not Promising: “From the makers of Pineapple Express.” Marketers are actually using this as a selling point? Did they see Pineapple Express? I did. In the theater. It was a Date Night movie, and I picked it. Paid money and everything. When it was over, I had to look at my wife and say, simply, “Sorry.” So I would revise the ad to say “From the makers of Pineapple Express, but don’t worry – they learned from it, and this is way better, and not 20 minutes too long.”
6:35 – Ginobili makes KG look silly, faking a pass inside around KG’s right flank, turning KG full around, and hitting a layup over him. KM calls it the “Larry Bird Okeydoke” – and says “I always used to fall for that in practice.” I’m starting to realize what KM has decided his commentator “thing” is – self-deprecation. This will come up again later.
4:56 – Rondo goes coast to coast – then gets T’d up for “excessive hand gesturing.” Question: can you give a ref the finger and get the same call? Because I think flipping the bird would really be getting your money’s worth.
4:37 – Nenad Krstic pokes the ball from Duncan. Apparently, he can, in fact, play defense…against old men.
2:19 – The Lord giveth (in the form of Jermaine O’Neal), and the Lord taketh away. Krstic goes down with mysterious, disturbing no-contact knee injury. The other Celtics show zero emotion about the loss. There is a brief shot of Rondo on the bench twisting a needle into the knee of a Nenad Krstic Voodoo doll. I think this development could actually be good for the Celtics – with all their depression over losing the well-liked Perkins, is it helpful to have him replaced by a big, balding, European who plays mediocre defense, good offense, and can hit his free throws? He’s like the anti-Perkins, and a constant off-putting reminder of the trade. Krstic and Perkins are complete polar opposites, alike only in that English is their second language.
Half – 49-49
Halftime comment: My appreciation of Kevin McHale automatically rises ten-fold at the sight of brand new TNT commentator, Rick Fox. His slicked back hair and annoying good looks scream L.A., and yeah, I know he was a Celtic for a while, but he was overrated, and always had that God-I-wanna-play-in-LA look about him. And what kind of world do we live in where appearing on Dancing with the Stars is an effective springboard to career rejuvenation?Although I must admit, I love you, Ralph Macchio.
3rd Quarter
10:58 – Parker drives the lane and finishes for what seems like the tenth time. I’m starting to think his guy is the best finisher since Tiny Archibald.
9:08 – Glen Davis rebounds Allen miss, hits patented undersized-but-somehow-can-finish layup.
Unintentionally dirty KM quote #2: “That was a nice rim-run by Davis.”
8:20 – McDyess leaves with what appears to be an ankle sprain.
7:31 – After great Rondo finish, Parker right back for an And One, getting the foul call on Glen Davis.
6:34 – Bonner hits his second three in a row.
Spurs – 65-61
5:08 – Rondo defensive rebound, full length pass to Green for a lay up.
4:10 – Rondo jumper falls. Startling to see Rondo nailing outside shots. It’s like watching a panda juggle. 67 apiece.
3:45 – Rondo coast to coast, layup under Bonner’s armpit. KM calls it the “Right Guard shot.”
3:12 – Rondo jumper. KM proclaims: “It’s the Rondo show.” This is the same man who essentially said that it’s not a problem that Rondo can’t hit jumpers, because defenders lay off him and give him better looks at driving and passing lanes. Interesting theory, but Rondo is showing that actually hitting jumpers is kind of an effective tool for a guard to have.
1:46 / 1:17 – Jeff Green hits two difficult, contested lay-ups, shows why the Celtics wanted him. He has 8 points…4 of 6 from the floor.
Shot of Rondo sucking wind and drinking water on the bench after carrying the C’s for several minutes.
:14 – Ginobili makes nice move for lay up. KM calls it the Euro-step, which is essentially a side step that looks a little like traveling. KM’s self-deprecation rises from the ooze. “I’d pull a groin if I tried that.” And then adds that if he were an official, he’d be a crap one: “I’d call a travel on that all the time.”
4th quarter
McDyess is back.
Celtics – 79-70
10:40 – George Hill gets called for being out of bounds. He’s out by a foot. KM leans on the self-dep: “Even I coulda made that call and got it right. I’d be a bad ref too, by the way.”
KM notes they’ve put Ginobili on Rondo to put some size on him.
9:46 – Ginobili snakes in for a nice floater. KM: “It's almost Manu time.”
9:15 – Glen Davis and KG lock arms make a giant, football-style wedge screen for Rondo to shoot. KM says: “Look at the big green wall!” and he’s not even at Fenway. Who’d a thunk the C’s would be working to get Rondo to take a jumper?
Celtics – 86-78
7:44 – Allen hits big three. Big for him, as he’s been terrible tonight.
Celtics’ Defense is picking up. Must be the absence of that distracting anti-Perk European dude.
5:15 – Another Rondo jumper. 22 points, 0 turnovers. Not a typo. 0.
4:32 – After Glen Davis jumper to make it 93-81, see a brief glimpse of what appears to be the sexiest Celtics fan ever. Rewind DVR…not as good as I thought, but I was fooled by the form fitting lady-version Celtics jersey. Lady Jerseys. Best. Invention. Ever.
4:20 – Tim Duncan rises over Big Baby, who isn’t big enough to stop a grown man. KM states: “Big Baby did everything he could, besides grow.” Funny. Yay, old-style Kevin. Duncan has 9 in the quarter. Swallows a fly on one of his jumpers.
4:00 – KG jumper, which is deadly tonight – he’s 7 of 9
2:52 – Pierce drives, misses, rebounds own miss and puts it in. Big play.
2:19 – KG money jumper. Celtics: 99-90
1:46 – KG money jumper: Celtics: 101-92
Unintentional dirty quote from Harlan: “What a stroke for Kevin Garnett!”
1:29 – Rondo to Big Baby for reverse lay up. Celtics: 103-92. Game over.
Duncan called for goaltending. Game overer.
1:24 – Rondo shooting freethrows. KM calls it “Hack a Rondo” time. But Rondo doesn’t touch the ball from this point.
Rondo 22 points, 14 assists, 0 turnovers, 5 rebounds.
The game sign off sounds a little like an Airplane movie bit:
“Good working with you, Kevin.”
“Good working with you too, Kevin.”
“We have clearance, Clarence.”
“Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?”
“Tower's radio clearance, over!”
“That's Clarence Oveur. Over.”
“Over.”
“Roger.”
“Huh?”
Update:
This Division III guy is only 3 inches taller than me. Talented bastard. After his youtube dunk vid went viral, he proceeded to win the NCAA dunk contest. Props, homey.
Oh, and this mass hysteria happened. Hate everybody's behavior in this vid...Blake doing his best Manu Ginobili impression, Terry not letting it go, Barnes being one serious street thug who needs to be in every altercation. After the game, a guy in the parking lot was arguing with a hot dog vendor about the cost of a weiner, and Barnes went out and got involved in that too:
Labels: Boston Celtics, Evil Ted, Live blog, San Antonio Spurs
Due to family obligations, I enter at the opening of the fourth quarter. It appears I haven’t missed much. Big Laker lead hints that this one could already be over.
JVG has just suggested that Phil Jackson close out the game without playing Kobe, as that would make the win more “meaningful.” A side of dumbass with that order, Jeff? Here’s an idea, maybe instead of the Lakers removing critical pieces of their team, your brother just coaches better?
11:27 remaining
Three ball from Reddick gets the Magic to within 14. 78-64.
10:59 remaining
Kobe baseline jumper makes it 80-64.
9:45 remaining
Nelson hits a three. 80-67. The Magic showing life, if "life" can defined as not completely sucking.
8:15 remaining
Kobe nails a three. Lead back to 16. Magic timeout. Jackson: “Bryant knocks down a dagger three.” Jackson knocks down a dagger cliché. Drink.
Bad commercial watch: Transformers playing basketball? Followed by a Transformers sequel trailer. After seeing another movie, my wife and I snuck into the first Transformer movie for five minutes in the theatre, and got simultaneous headaches in two.
7:04 remaining
Ariza throwdown. Laker lead is 18.
6:37 remaining
Mark Jackson and Mike Breen begin the Phil Jackson suck off session, calling him the best ever, etc, etc. Oh, KG why did your knee have to give out? At least when Phil was tied with Red, there was room for “the greatest” ambiguity. With the tendency for the league to tag superlatives to the current players and coaches, he will be called the best ever, bar none. Oh well.
5:50 remaining
Breen says that Kobe was sometimes “not the easiest teammate to play with.” This is a euphemism for “douchebag.” On teams that win, Kobe is quite pleasant and lovely.
4:43 remaining
Dwight has another dunk slapped away. Howard is so deceptive – seemingly powerful, yet so easy to strip down low, even though in this case, he kept the ball high.
2:52 remaining
Reddick drive takes them to within 12.
2:33 remaining
Kobe jumper puts it back to 14.
1:58 remaining
Reddick three takes it to 11. This does not constitute a "duel."
Bad commercial watch: A speedy Kobe puppet fetches sneakers and jerseys for LeBron to prove his rapidity. Has anyone else noticed that the LeBron and Kobe puppets speak in jive, call each other “my brother,” and dance to rap music? Where’s the watermelon and fried chicken? I can just imagine the negotiations with Kobe and LeBron’s agents – “Uhm, yeah, LeBron/Kobe find these commercials offensive, but if you want to pay them a ton of money, just use puppets and go ahead and do whatever you want."
:40.4 remaining
Mark Jackson: “As I watch the Lakers celebrate, I wonder what Shaquille O’Neal is thinking right now.” You don't need to, Mark. Just subscribe to his frickin' Twitter broadcast. I just got a message: "Congrats Kobe. Go to hell, Master of Panic. I'll be at IHOP at 10 A.M. Meet me there and I'll buy you a short stack."
Watching SVG shake hands with Phil, all I can think is "Poor little chubby bastard. He won't be back next year."
Kobe’s daughters are dressed like cheerleaders. Looks a little creepy, but if I were a Laker fan, I suppose I would find it adorable.
Phil seems to look very fragile as he hugs people out there. Is this man ok? They’re talking about him perhaps not returning due to “health issues.” I wonder if we could maybe unearth Red Auerbach’s corpse and have it just be an honorary assistant coach for Doc next year, so that he could maybe catch back up with Phil on the championship count. Am going to nba.com to search for rules on whether coaches must in fact be alive to coach.
Love to hear the “boos” at the intro of David Stern at the Larry O'Brien Trophy presentation. Stern hands it to Joey Bus, who looks like he’s 12 years old, and worse, sounds like it too. What is going on with that retard?
In most of the post-game interviews, they ask about the humiliating loss to the Celtics last year. Amusing. Oh, I hope the purple and gold and the green meet again next year.
Funny to watch Kobe and Phil embrace; these two were ready to meet in WWF Smackdown two years ago. It’s amazing what winning will do.
Congratulations to the 2009 NBA Champion Lakers. I’m not going to say World Champion, because then a whole bunch of Eurotrash is going to post comments about how it’s only the "North American" championship. Whatever.
What a playoffs. From the amazing Boston/Chicago series to this finals, we were always able to count on one thing - that the officiating would suck consistently. And it did. But the best team won anyway.
Here's to a summer of Basketbawful working his ass off to provide posts that entertain throughout the off-season.
Ta ta, y'all.
JVG has just suggested that Phil Jackson close out the game without playing Kobe, as that would make the win more “meaningful.” A side of dumbass with that order, Jeff? Here’s an idea, maybe instead of the Lakers removing critical pieces of their team, your brother just coaches better?
11:27 remaining
Three ball from Reddick gets the Magic to within 14. 78-64.
10:59 remaining
Kobe baseline jumper makes it 80-64.
9:45 remaining
Nelson hits a three. 80-67. The Magic showing life, if "life" can defined as not completely sucking.
8:15 remaining
Kobe nails a three. Lead back to 16. Magic timeout. Jackson: “Bryant knocks down a dagger three.” Jackson knocks down a dagger cliché. Drink.
Bad commercial watch: Transformers playing basketball? Followed by a Transformers sequel trailer. After seeing another movie, my wife and I snuck into the first Transformer movie for five minutes in the theatre, and got simultaneous headaches in two.
7:04 remaining
Ariza throwdown. Laker lead is 18.
6:37 remaining
Mark Jackson and Mike Breen begin the Phil Jackson suck off session, calling him the best ever, etc, etc. Oh, KG why did your knee have to give out? At least when Phil was tied with Red, there was room for “the greatest” ambiguity. With the tendency for the league to tag superlatives to the current players and coaches, he will be called the best ever, bar none. Oh well.
5:50 remaining
Breen says that Kobe was sometimes “not the easiest teammate to play with.” This is a euphemism for “douchebag.” On teams that win, Kobe is quite pleasant and lovely.
4:43 remaining
Dwight has another dunk slapped away. Howard is so deceptive – seemingly powerful, yet so easy to strip down low, even though in this case, he kept the ball high.
2:52 remaining
Reddick drive takes them to within 12.
2:33 remaining
Kobe jumper puts it back to 14.
1:58 remaining
Reddick three takes it to 11. This does not constitute a "duel."
Bad commercial watch: A speedy Kobe puppet fetches sneakers and jerseys for LeBron to prove his rapidity. Has anyone else noticed that the LeBron and Kobe puppets speak in jive, call each other “my brother,” and dance to rap music? Where’s the watermelon and fried chicken? I can just imagine the negotiations with Kobe and LeBron’s agents – “Uhm, yeah, LeBron/Kobe find these commercials offensive, but if you want to pay them a ton of money, just use puppets and go ahead and do whatever you want."
:40.4 remaining
Mark Jackson: “As I watch the Lakers celebrate, I wonder what Shaquille O’Neal is thinking right now.” You don't need to, Mark. Just subscribe to his frickin' Twitter broadcast. I just got a message: "Congrats Kobe. Go to hell, Master of Panic. I'll be at IHOP at 10 A.M. Meet me there and I'll buy you a short stack."
Watching SVG shake hands with Phil, all I can think is "Poor little chubby bastard. He won't be back next year."
Kobe’s daughters are dressed like cheerleaders. Looks a little creepy, but if I were a Laker fan, I suppose I would find it adorable.
Phil seems to look very fragile as he hugs people out there. Is this man ok? They’re talking about him perhaps not returning due to “health issues.” I wonder if we could maybe unearth Red Auerbach’s corpse and have it just be an honorary assistant coach for Doc next year, so that he could maybe catch back up with Phil on the championship count. Am going to nba.com to search for rules on whether coaches must in fact be alive to coach.
Love to hear the “boos” at the intro of David Stern at the Larry O'Brien Trophy presentation. Stern hands it to Joey Bus, who looks like he’s 12 years old, and worse, sounds like it too. What is going on with that retard?
In most of the post-game interviews, they ask about the humiliating loss to the Celtics last year. Amusing. Oh, I hope the purple and gold and the green meet again next year.
Funny to watch Kobe and Phil embrace; these two were ready to meet in WWF Smackdown two years ago. It’s amazing what winning will do.
Congratulations to the 2009 NBA Champion Lakers. I’m not going to say World Champion, because then a whole bunch of Eurotrash is going to post comments about how it’s only the "North American" championship. Whatever.
What a playoffs. From the amazing Boston/Chicago series to this finals, we were always able to count on one thing - that the officiating would suck consistently. And it did. But the best team won anyway.
Here's to a summer of Basketbawful working his ass off to provide posts that entertain throughout the off-season.
Ta ta, y'all.
Labels: 4th quarter, Evil Ted, Game 5, Live blog
Due to my hectic and evil schedule, I manage to start watching the game at 43-35, Magic.
2nd period, 2:46 remaining
Random thought #1: The idea of this series getting knotted at 2-2 is making my mouth water – not like it would if this were the CELTICS-Lakers, but it would be nice to see the Lakers at least struggle a bit. It’s like being a Red Sox fan. Just as important as winning is the Yankees NOT winning. Same applies for the Lakers.
Random thought #2: From watching the opening of game 3, I noticed they’ve added Paul Pierce to the “Champions” Finals montage. But it looks like he’s holding the Finals MVP trophy (Now the Bill Russell Award…Awesomeness) and not the Larry O'Brien. Still, cool.
2nd, 2:22 remaining
Howard with big-time left-handed hook. Mark Jackson correctly identifies it as “big time,” but does not say “Mama look out for that man,” or whatever the hell he always says.
2nd, 1:50 remaining
Howard goes to the right hand hook from a few feet further out. Mama, watch that man. Big time. Get out of my way. Hold the onions. Hide the children. Close the mall.
2nd, :11 remaining
Howard tries an identical right-handed hook. Air ball. It reminds you that this dude is just not naturally gifted at the offensive end – aside from cleaning up missed lay-ups with authority.
2nd, :8.9 remaining
Jackson, about Howard: “He’s putting on a clinic.” Mark Jackson lives in cliché-land. Or at least has a vacation home there.
Great commercial watch: LeBron-Kobe puppet commercials. Awesome. The only thing that angers me about them is that I didn’t think to spoof them. One new spot shows LeBron lifting weights, counting reps…"2007, 2008, 2009 2010…yeah” the puppet nods “2010.” THAT must make Cleveland feel great – the commercial practically promises LeBron is leaving. Or at least appears to hope for it. Comments Mark Jackson: "Cleveland getting no respect whatsoever. Mama look out for that man."
ABC Halftime
Analysis: Magic Johnson states the reason for the Magic lead is the Lakers are “just playing. They have no gameplan.” Uhm, there’s a backhanded diss of Phil Jackson if I’ve ever heard one. Or maybe that was the forehand.
Halftime teaser shows Dwight and Bill Russell giggling. I don’t know what they’re laughing about, but it’s gold. Not KG-Russell gold, but gold. I swear, you put Bill Russell with anyone, and it’s cool. Except if it’s, like, Bill Russell and Screech from Saved by the Bell. Or Brian Scalabrini. In fact, let’s say this, Scalabrini is the anti-Russell – put him next to anyone, and that person becomes instantly NOT cool.
Query: What would happen if Bill Russell and Brian Scalabrini were put together for a promo? Would the spot where they’re standing turn into a swirling vortex of time-travel-inducing black hole like what the red matter did to planets in J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek? If you haven’t seen that movie yet, by the way, you’re missing out.
Feature: Dwight talks to Russell. Nice reminder of the KG-Russell piece last year. Seriously, let’s make sure Bill Russell is featured in every Finals series until he dies, or doesn’t want to do it anymore. The man has earned it, and always delivers the goods. Speaking of The Goods...
Russell’s defensive advice to Howard “Always jump straight up.” Good advice, Bill. Sadly, in today’s league, you’ll regularly get called for a foul doing that.
In the piece, Patrick Ewing, Russell, and Howard are on the sideline at practice. Ewing admires Russell’s ring and says “gotta get me one of these” and Howard mumbles something like “Gotta do somethin’ out there [to get one]” and gestures to the court. Dwight mumbles this half-heartedly, perhaps because as he's saying it, he must realize he’s dissing Ewing’s trophyless career. Lots of unintentional dissing going on tonight. Let's say something shitty about Dan Marino and complete the Trifecta.
Sorry, Mr. Ewing. You’re going to have to try for that ring as an assistant coach. It’s the same ring as the players get, but the league injects the center stone with the scent of abject failure and perpetual frustration.
3rd quarter
Hmmm, the Lakers are in foul trouble in the Magic’s building? Unusual.
3rd, 9:45 remaining
Ariza steals, gets a breakaway layup, pulling the Lakers to within 10. Ariza gives an “I’ve been fouled” look even though he went to the hole uncontested and untouched. It’s like all NBA players are trained to gripe on every play. Must be in the player orientation manual.
Howard misses another hook. If he could regularly create his own shot, he’d be frightening.
Kobe and Ariza threes – Lakers to within 5. Time out Magic.
In-game interview snippet: Kobe’s comment about Ariza: “He’s crafty.” Kobe makes this compliment in the most condescending way. It’s like he’s talking about his son or something. We know you’re the best player on Earth, Kobe, relax – you can say nice things about other players without us forgetting how awesome you are.
3rd, 7:11 remaining
Turk called for a foul on Ariza. Crap call. 54-50 Magic.
3rd, 6:42 remaining
Good Laker ball movement, Ariza with another 3. Eleven points by Ariza in 5 ½ minutes. Impressive. Isn’t this a contract year, Trevor? Maybe the Celtics can steal him….
3rd, 5:41 remaining
Derek Fisher runs into, then grabs the leg of Rashard Lewis. Ball out of bounds. No foul, Laker ball. Interesting.
3rd, 5:17 remaining
Nice floater by Alston. No, he wasn’t taking a crap.
3rd, 4:54 remaining
Bynum’s 4th foul is a joke, so much so that Howard thinks the foul is on him. Officiating in this league should be defined as comedy. The only thing I can assume is that refs made the call on Bynum because he shoved Howard out of the way for an earlier rebound three seconds before the actual whistle. Still.
Orlando Magic “Second-rate Celebrity” watch: Chris Tucker, Rihanna, and Tiger Woods – which of these three “Stars” is really a star? Hint: He plays golf (maybe Chris Tucker plays golf too, but that would be pure coincidence).
3rd, 3:34 remaining
Odom gets hammered by Howard going to the hole. Curious no call.
3rd, 2:17 remaining
J.J. Reddick ties the game at 61 with a wicked ball fake and a three.
3rd, 1:53 remaining
J.J. Reddick undoes his great play with a lame try-to-lean-in-for-a-foul-call jumper. No call, no basket, no charitable feelings for the inconsistent Reddick.
3rd, 1:28 remaining
Kobe rips a rebound out of Dwight’s hands (legit), Howard bear hugs Kobe (foul called, fine), Kobe tries to elbow Dwight. Commentators actually say the following: “That would normally be a technical, but there are no technicals in the Finals.” Nothing this simultaneously true and pathetic has ever been spoken in the history of mankind.
3rd, :25 remaining
Breen notes that an “anti-ref chant” has begun. I can’t make out what the crowd is saying, but if it’s anti-ref, I agree with it wholeheartedly.
Lakers outscore Magic 30-14 in the 3rd. Yikes.
Great commercial watch: A new “Where will amazing…” commercial unveils Dr. J’s under-the-basket lay-up from a rare opposite baseline camera view. Awesome. Not quite “Larry stole the ball” awesome, but awesome.
4th quarter
4th, 11:35 remaining
Kobe alley-oop to Odom puts Lakers up 69-63.
4th, 10:52 remaining
Breen and Jackson are saying get Nelson out, put Alston back in. Did everyone on Earth but Stan Van Gundy (hereafter SVG) know that putting Nelson back into the lineup would ruin the team’s chemistry?
4th, 10:39 remaining
Pietrus rakes Gasol across the face while driving, sends Gasol to the floor in obvious pain. Foul on Gasol. NBA refs are fantastic.
4th, 9:54 remaining
Odom fouls Turkoglu on a three with the clock running down. Turk makes 2 of 3. Lakers, 71-67.
4th, 9:35 remaining
After a breakaway steal, Pietrus blows an open layup, getting all discombobulated by Ariza’s high-speed defensive approach. Made him look like he should be playing in high school. In fact, Breen et al thought he slipped on a patch of wet floor or something...until the replay. Nope. He just bricked it - bad.
4th, 9:09 remaining
Howard called for an offensive foul while establishing position. Legit. He whacked Gasol three times hard before they blew the whistle.
Bad Commercial Watch: Mice riding in a car. Still don’t know what it’s advertising, and don’t care.
4th, 6:55 remaining
Moving screen on Gasol. No replay shown to confirm that the refs smoke crack. The only closeup is Gasol saying “Bad Call” or “Bullshit.” Verdict: Close-ups on Gasol inspire nightmares.
4th, 6:40 remaining
Farmar hangs on Howard’s arm to prevent a dunk. Good play for a guy his size to stop the score. During the regular season, this is a Flagrant 2. Howard hits both freethrows.
4th, 5:38 remaining
Pietrus with a huge and-1 against Kobe. Timeout. 75 all.
4th, 5:06 remaining
Turk misses two frees. No arc or savvy. I thought he shoots well….?
4th, 4:18 remaining
Nelson feeds to Howard for a dunk. Finally Nelson shows some worth.
4th, 4:01 remaining
Kobe drives. Furious over no call. The boy cries wolf. Again. I once saw Kobe drives and whines in concert at Soldier Field. They were awesome. And they love to do endless encores every time they play.
4th, 3:19 remaining
Turk misses another freethrow. Twelve charity stripe misses by the Magic. Think this will come back to haunt them?
4th, 3:02 remaining
Nelson feeds Howard again with a bullet pass for a dunk and 1. Hold the lettuce on that “Nelson is ruining the Magic’s chemistry” verdict. You can practically smell Alston’s fury on the bench. Magic 81-79. Howard hits free throw. He’s more solid than Turk at the line right now, which is a tad surprising.
4th, 2:28 remaining
Ariza hits a HUGE three with the shot clock running down.
4th, 2:08 remaining
Turk nails a three back. Magic 85-82.
4th, 1:34 remaining
Turk’s floater puts the Magic up by 5. He’s very ugly when he grins and sticks out his tongue in celebration. He could benefit greatly from being a stone-faced assassin.
4th, 1:14 remaining
Blocking foul on Nelson, who drops in front of Kobe. Legit call.
4th, :32 remaining
Kobe with a nasty-good no-look feed to Gasol for the dunk. Magic by three.
4th, :11 remaining
Turk feeds Howard down low (Turk missed seeing that same open pass on the previous play). Kobe pulls Howard to the floor to prevent the basket. During the regular season, that’s a Flagrant 2, three months in prison, and a mandatory hour in nipple clamps.
Dwight misses both free throws. Ew. Maybe that smell is the Magic’s free throw shooting and lack of Finals experience, not Alston’s rage.
4th, :4.6 remaining
Fisher hits a three to tie the game. SVG makes yet ANOTHER huge stupid defensive mistake. Teeny, tiny Nelson out there on D? It didn’t help that his 3-point defense smelled like poo as well. How many odors are the Magic going emit tonight? Oy, Stan. Make it a free throw shooting contest. Foul Fisher before he lines up for a three. I can’t believe how many professional basketball teams allow this to happen.
Final play of regulation
Pietrus doesn't notice Howard under the basket with Kobe on him. He takes an off-balance shot and misses. The Magic have just blown another golden opportunity to win a Finals game in regulation. I predict here and now that the Lakers will be going up 3-1 tonight. You can’t give Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Micheal Jordan, or Kobe Bryant two chances. You will lose.
Overtime
Lewis three, Kobe two. Magic 90-89.
OT, 3:54 remaining
Howard misses a contested lay-up. Now Dwight Howard is a player you can give two chances - hell, give him three. He’s not elite yet. Remember, Patrick Ewing is his mentor. Nuff said.
OT, 2:38 remaining
Howard misses another lay-up. See?
OT, 1:57 remaining
Kobe misses his second jumper, BUT refs miss a forearm foul on Pietrus. Know why? Because Kobe didn't crumble to the floor and curl into the fetal position. No wonder these players feel the need to overact.
OT, 1:27 remaining
Lose ball foul on Fisher. Legit. Gasol (in front of Howard) went flying on the play, but he flopped. The right call was made, as Fisher was trying to push Howard with all he had. Howard just didn't move anywhere because he weighs 750 pounds.
OT, 1:01 remaining
Ariza rebounds a missed Laker shot. Doesn’t look like he reestablished both feet back in bounds on the play. But what do I know? I’m not an NBA ref. Replay shows only one foot reestablished inbounds. Breen, Jackson, and JVG are oblivious.
OT, :46 remaining
Lose ball foul on Nelson. Legit. Nelson wrapped Gasol’s arm and pulled him down.
OT, 31.3 remaining
Lakers with ball. Kobe elbows Nelson in the chin. No call. Fisher hits a three to put the Lakers up three. It appears my pickup basketball cohorts are right – offensive fouls really shouldn’t be called under any circumstances. Huge play. On the other hand, maybe Nelson flopped. I know that when people elbow me in the face, I try to sell it by spitting teeth and bleeding. Ok, Nelson won't need facial reconstruction, but it was a clear hello-meet-my-elbow-bitch by Kobe. Huge play.
OT, 21.6 remaining
Turk takes a bad, off-balance three. Gasol grabs a breakaway lay-up to put the Lakers up five. Gasol is happy and doing that jump-celebrating thing with his teammates. I hate the jump-celebrating. That needs to go. P.S.> Happy Gasol is not as ugly as a happy Turkoglu, but it’s close.
OT, :3.4 remaining
Lakers have the game in hand and the ball, which is passed to an open Gasol beneath the basket. Pietrus sprints in and slams Gasol full force with both hands. Gasol hits the dunk and the two jaw at each other. Flagrant on Pietrus. Watch this play closely. It’s the grandest illustration of what is wrong with the NBA. Forty times a game, you will see players get hit with one-tenth the force of that hit and fall like a pile of toothpicks. But here, Gasol knew the game was over, so an acting job wasn’t necessary. It would be nice if all games could be played that way all the time.
Conclusion:
Uh, this is over.
The Magic have put up a nice fight, and could easily be up 3-1, but they’re not, because they can’t finish games, not against the best, anyway.
And the Lakers are the best.
This year.
Let three countdowns begin:
- A Celtics / Lakers rematch in 2010. May both teams be healthy and fully stocked, because that’s the war I want to see.
- Phil and Kobe’s ascendancy over Red and Shaq, respectively.
- My week of nausea and depression. At least the Red Sox are 9-0 against the Yankees this year.
Congrats to the Lakers. It’s only a matter of time before you win it all.
And yes, I’m trying to jinx you.
2nd period, 2:46 remaining
Random thought #1: The idea of this series getting knotted at 2-2 is making my mouth water – not like it would if this were the CELTICS-Lakers, but it would be nice to see the Lakers at least struggle a bit. It’s like being a Red Sox fan. Just as important as winning is the Yankees NOT winning. Same applies for the Lakers.
Random thought #2: From watching the opening of game 3, I noticed they’ve added Paul Pierce to the “Champions” Finals montage. But it looks like he’s holding the Finals MVP trophy (Now the Bill Russell Award…Awesomeness) and not the Larry O'Brien. Still, cool.
2nd, 2:22 remaining
Howard with big-time left-handed hook. Mark Jackson correctly identifies it as “big time,” but does not say “Mama look out for that man,” or whatever the hell he always says.
2nd, 1:50 remaining
Howard goes to the right hand hook from a few feet further out. Mama, watch that man. Big time. Get out of my way. Hold the onions. Hide the children. Close the mall.
2nd, :11 remaining
Howard tries an identical right-handed hook. Air ball. It reminds you that this dude is just not naturally gifted at the offensive end – aside from cleaning up missed lay-ups with authority.
2nd, :8.9 remaining
Jackson, about Howard: “He’s putting on a clinic.” Mark Jackson lives in cliché-land. Or at least has a vacation home there.
Great commercial watch: LeBron-Kobe puppet commercials. Awesome. The only thing that angers me about them is that I didn’t think to spoof them. One new spot shows LeBron lifting weights, counting reps…"2007, 2008, 2009 2010…yeah” the puppet nods “2010.” THAT must make Cleveland feel great – the commercial practically promises LeBron is leaving. Or at least appears to hope for it. Comments Mark Jackson: "Cleveland getting no respect whatsoever. Mama look out for that man."
ABC Halftime
Analysis: Magic Johnson states the reason for the Magic lead is the Lakers are “just playing. They have no gameplan.” Uhm, there’s a backhanded diss of Phil Jackson if I’ve ever heard one. Or maybe that was the forehand.
Halftime teaser shows Dwight and Bill Russell giggling. I don’t know what they’re laughing about, but it’s gold. Not KG-Russell gold, but gold. I swear, you put Bill Russell with anyone, and it’s cool. Except if it’s, like, Bill Russell and Screech from Saved by the Bell. Or Brian Scalabrini. In fact, let’s say this, Scalabrini is the anti-Russell – put him next to anyone, and that person becomes instantly NOT cool.
Query: What would happen if Bill Russell and Brian Scalabrini were put together for a promo? Would the spot where they’re standing turn into a swirling vortex of time-travel-inducing black hole like what the red matter did to planets in J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek? If you haven’t seen that movie yet, by the way, you’re missing out.
Feature: Dwight talks to Russell. Nice reminder of the KG-Russell piece last year. Seriously, let’s make sure Bill Russell is featured in every Finals series until he dies, or doesn’t want to do it anymore. The man has earned it, and always delivers the goods. Speaking of The Goods...
Russell’s defensive advice to Howard “Always jump straight up.” Good advice, Bill. Sadly, in today’s league, you’ll regularly get called for a foul doing that.
In the piece, Patrick Ewing, Russell, and Howard are on the sideline at practice. Ewing admires Russell’s ring and says “gotta get me one of these” and Howard mumbles something like “Gotta do somethin’ out there [to get one]” and gestures to the court. Dwight mumbles this half-heartedly, perhaps because as he's saying it, he must realize he’s dissing Ewing’s trophyless career. Lots of unintentional dissing going on tonight. Let's say something shitty about Dan Marino and complete the Trifecta.
Sorry, Mr. Ewing. You’re going to have to try for that ring as an assistant coach. It’s the same ring as the players get, but the league injects the center stone with the scent of abject failure and perpetual frustration.
3rd quarter
Hmmm, the Lakers are in foul trouble in the Magic’s building? Unusual.
3rd, 9:45 remaining
Ariza steals, gets a breakaway layup, pulling the Lakers to within 10. Ariza gives an “I’ve been fouled” look even though he went to the hole uncontested and untouched. It’s like all NBA players are trained to gripe on every play. Must be in the player orientation manual.
Howard misses another hook. If he could regularly create his own shot, he’d be frightening.
Kobe and Ariza threes – Lakers to within 5. Time out Magic.
In-game interview snippet: Kobe’s comment about Ariza: “He’s crafty.” Kobe makes this compliment in the most condescending way. It’s like he’s talking about his son or something. We know you’re the best player on Earth, Kobe, relax – you can say nice things about other players without us forgetting how awesome you are.
3rd, 7:11 remaining
Turk called for a foul on Ariza. Crap call. 54-50 Magic.
3rd, 6:42 remaining
Good Laker ball movement, Ariza with another 3. Eleven points by Ariza in 5 ½ minutes. Impressive. Isn’t this a contract year, Trevor? Maybe the Celtics can steal him….
3rd, 5:41 remaining
Derek Fisher runs into, then grabs the leg of Rashard Lewis. Ball out of bounds. No foul, Laker ball. Interesting.
3rd, 5:17 remaining
Nice floater by Alston. No, he wasn’t taking a crap.
3rd, 4:54 remaining
Bynum’s 4th foul is a joke, so much so that Howard thinks the foul is on him. Officiating in this league should be defined as comedy. The only thing I can assume is that refs made the call on Bynum because he shoved Howard out of the way for an earlier rebound three seconds before the actual whistle. Still.
Orlando Magic “Second-rate Celebrity” watch: Chris Tucker, Rihanna, and Tiger Woods – which of these three “Stars” is really a star? Hint: He plays golf (maybe Chris Tucker plays golf too, but that would be pure coincidence).
3rd, 3:34 remaining
Odom gets hammered by Howard going to the hole. Curious no call.
3rd, 2:17 remaining
J.J. Reddick ties the game at 61 with a wicked ball fake and a three.
3rd, 1:53 remaining
J.J. Reddick undoes his great play with a lame try-to-lean-in-for-a-foul-call jumper. No call, no basket, no charitable feelings for the inconsistent Reddick.
3rd, 1:28 remaining
Kobe rips a rebound out of Dwight’s hands (legit), Howard bear hugs Kobe (foul called, fine), Kobe tries to elbow Dwight. Commentators actually say the following: “That would normally be a technical, but there are no technicals in the Finals.” Nothing this simultaneously true and pathetic has ever been spoken in the history of mankind.
3rd, :25 remaining
Breen notes that an “anti-ref chant” has begun. I can’t make out what the crowd is saying, but if it’s anti-ref, I agree with it wholeheartedly.
Lakers outscore Magic 30-14 in the 3rd. Yikes.
Great commercial watch: A new “Where will amazing…” commercial unveils Dr. J’s under-the-basket lay-up from a rare opposite baseline camera view. Awesome. Not quite “Larry stole the ball” awesome, but awesome.
4th quarter
4th, 11:35 remaining
Kobe alley-oop to Odom puts Lakers up 69-63.
4th, 10:52 remaining
Breen and Jackson are saying get Nelson out, put Alston back in. Did everyone on Earth but Stan Van Gundy (hereafter SVG) know that putting Nelson back into the lineup would ruin the team’s chemistry?
4th, 10:39 remaining
Pietrus rakes Gasol across the face while driving, sends Gasol to the floor in obvious pain. Foul on Gasol. NBA refs are fantastic.
4th, 9:54 remaining
Odom fouls Turkoglu on a three with the clock running down. Turk makes 2 of 3. Lakers, 71-67.
4th, 9:35 remaining
After a breakaway steal, Pietrus blows an open layup, getting all discombobulated by Ariza’s high-speed defensive approach. Made him look like he should be playing in high school. In fact, Breen et al thought he slipped on a patch of wet floor or something...until the replay. Nope. He just bricked it - bad.
Yes, Pietrus actually missed this shot.
4th, 9:09 remaining
Howard called for an offensive foul while establishing position. Legit. He whacked Gasol three times hard before they blew the whistle.
Bad Commercial Watch: Mice riding in a car. Still don’t know what it’s advertising, and don’t care.
4th, 6:55 remaining
Moving screen on Gasol. No replay shown to confirm that the refs smoke crack. The only closeup is Gasol saying “Bad Call” or “Bullshit.” Verdict: Close-ups on Gasol inspire nightmares.
4th, 6:40 remaining
Farmar hangs on Howard’s arm to prevent a dunk. Good play for a guy his size to stop the score. During the regular season, this is a Flagrant 2. Howard hits both freethrows.
4th, 5:38 remaining
Pietrus with a huge and-1 against Kobe. Timeout. 75 all.
4th, 5:06 remaining
Turk misses two frees. No arc or savvy. I thought he shoots well….?
4th, 4:18 remaining
Nelson feeds to Howard for a dunk. Finally Nelson shows some worth.
4th, 4:01 remaining
Kobe drives. Furious over no call. The boy cries wolf. Again. I once saw Kobe drives and whines in concert at Soldier Field. They were awesome. And they love to do endless encores every time they play.
4th, 3:19 remaining
Turk misses another freethrow. Twelve charity stripe misses by the Magic. Think this will come back to haunt them?
4th, 3:02 remaining
Nelson feeds Howard again with a bullet pass for a dunk and 1. Hold the lettuce on that “Nelson is ruining the Magic’s chemistry” verdict. You can practically smell Alston’s fury on the bench. Magic 81-79. Howard hits free throw. He’s more solid than Turk at the line right now, which is a tad surprising.
4th, 2:28 remaining
Ariza hits a HUGE three with the shot clock running down.
4th, 2:08 remaining
Turk nails a three back. Magic 85-82.
4th, 1:34 remaining
Turk’s floater puts the Magic up by 5. He’s very ugly when he grins and sticks out his tongue in celebration. He could benefit greatly from being a stone-faced assassin.
4th, 1:14 remaining
Blocking foul on Nelson, who drops in front of Kobe. Legit call.
4th, :32 remaining
Kobe with a nasty-good no-look feed to Gasol for the dunk. Magic by three.
4th, :11 remaining
Turk feeds Howard down low (Turk missed seeing that same open pass on the previous play). Kobe pulls Howard to the floor to prevent the basket. During the regular season, that’s a Flagrant 2, three months in prison, and a mandatory hour in nipple clamps.
Dwight misses both free throws. Ew. Maybe that smell is the Magic’s free throw shooting and lack of Finals experience, not Alston’s rage.
4th, :4.6 remaining
Fisher hits a three to tie the game. SVG makes yet ANOTHER huge stupid defensive mistake. Teeny, tiny Nelson out there on D? It didn’t help that his 3-point defense smelled like poo as well. How many odors are the Magic going emit tonight? Oy, Stan. Make it a free throw shooting contest. Foul Fisher before he lines up for a three. I can’t believe how many professional basketball teams allow this to happen.
Final play of regulation
Pietrus doesn't notice Howard under the basket with Kobe on him. He takes an off-balance shot and misses. The Magic have just blown another golden opportunity to win a Finals game in regulation. I predict here and now that the Lakers will be going up 3-1 tonight. You can’t give Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Micheal Jordan, or Kobe Bryant two chances. You will lose.
Overtime
Lewis three, Kobe two. Magic 90-89.
OT, 3:54 remaining
Howard misses a contested lay-up. Now Dwight Howard is a player you can give two chances - hell, give him three. He’s not elite yet. Remember, Patrick Ewing is his mentor. Nuff said.
OT, 2:38 remaining
Howard misses another lay-up. See?
OT, 1:57 remaining
Kobe misses his second jumper, BUT refs miss a forearm foul on Pietrus. Know why? Because Kobe didn't crumble to the floor and curl into the fetal position. No wonder these players feel the need to overact.
OT, 1:27 remaining
Lose ball foul on Fisher. Legit. Gasol (in front of Howard) went flying on the play, but he flopped. The right call was made, as Fisher was trying to push Howard with all he had. Howard just didn't move anywhere because he weighs 750 pounds.
OT, 1:01 remaining
Ariza rebounds a missed Laker shot. Doesn’t look like he reestablished both feet back in bounds on the play. But what do I know? I’m not an NBA ref. Replay shows only one foot reestablished inbounds. Breen, Jackson, and JVG are oblivious.
OT, :46 remaining
Lose ball foul on Nelson. Legit. Nelson wrapped Gasol’s arm and pulled him down.
OT, 31.3 remaining
Lakers with ball. Kobe elbows Nelson in the chin. No call. Fisher hits a three to put the Lakers up three. It appears my pickup basketball cohorts are right – offensive fouls really shouldn’t be called under any circumstances. Huge play. On the other hand, maybe Nelson flopped. I know that when people elbow me in the face, I try to sell it by spitting teeth and bleeding. Ok, Nelson won't need facial reconstruction, but it was a clear hello-meet-my-elbow-bitch by Kobe. Huge play.
OT, 21.6 remaining
Turk takes a bad, off-balance three. Gasol grabs a breakaway lay-up to put the Lakers up five. Gasol is happy and doing that jump-celebrating thing with his teammates. I hate the jump-celebrating. That needs to go. P.S.> Happy Gasol is not as ugly as a happy Turkoglu, but it’s close.
"Yay!"
OT, :3.4 remaining
Lakers have the game in hand and the ball, which is passed to an open Gasol beneath the basket. Pietrus sprints in and slams Gasol full force with both hands. Gasol hits the dunk and the two jaw at each other. Flagrant on Pietrus. Watch this play closely. It’s the grandest illustration of what is wrong with the NBA. Forty times a game, you will see players get hit with one-tenth the force of that hit and fall like a pile of toothpicks. But here, Gasol knew the game was over, so an acting job wasn’t necessary. It would be nice if all games could be played that way all the time.
Conclusion:
Uh, this is over.
"Note to self: Revise sign."
The Magic have put up a nice fight, and could easily be up 3-1, but they’re not, because they can’t finish games, not against the best, anyway.
And the Lakers are the best.
This year.
Let three countdowns begin:
- A Celtics / Lakers rematch in 2010. May both teams be healthy and fully stocked, because that’s the war I want to see.
- Phil and Kobe’s ascendancy over Red and Shaq, respectively.
- My week of nausea and depression. At least the Red Sox are 9-0 against the Yankees this year.
Congrats to the Lakers. It’s only a matter of time before you win it all.
And yes, I’m trying to jinx you.
Labels: 2009 NBA Finals, Evil Ted, Game 4, Live blog
Pregame
Stuart Scott asks D. Wade what advice he has for Kobe Bryant. Wade says Kobe needs to distribute the ball and get his teammates involved (I’m half expecting him to say “Hope for a ton of phantom foul calls in your favor.” He doesn’t.)
I have a foreboding feeling about Game 6. Perkins won't be at full strength (but at least he'll play – frankly, I'd question his toughness if he didn't), and Ray Allen stayed back in L.A. for an extra day because of a sick kid. Oh yeah, and the Celtics plane was delayed 5 hours due to "mechanical problems" in L.A. Yeah, right. That Laker plane took off on time (maybe air traffic control in Boston should have made the yellow and purple circle Boston airspace for 5 hours).
Wilbon, Barry, Wade all calling for a Celtics victory...hate when my team gets a unanimous vote. Bad omen. Last unanimous commentator vote: Patriots to win the Superbowl, and by a landslide. Yeah, right.
Team introductions. Why do the Lakers get kick ass opening music? Why do they get any music at all? Shouldn't they at least get Star Wars "Evil Empire" music? (Note from Basketbawful: That's called The Imperial March, ET.)
Rondo is in the starting lineup...chills. Please play better at home, Rajon.
Bill Russell, Cedric Maxwell, Jo Jo White, M.L. Carr in the stands – which of these things is not like the others? I’ll give you one guess, M.L. Still, this is a far better brand of "stadium celebrity" than we saw in L.A.
1st Quarter
11:46, 1st – Phantom foul on Perkins. Stern wants 7 games?
11:00, 1st – Pierce blocking foul. Mediocre call. Or maybe these are just the officials' 1st quarter "we're gonna show the world there isn't home cooking" calls. Or maybe these are the "we're gonna keep this from being a 'physical home court' game" calls.
10:13, 1st – Rondo passes up another drive for an Allen 3.
9:00, 1st – Kobe hits second three. Yikes. Could be a long night.
Van Gundy mentions a broken windshield on the Celtics' family plane causing another delay. Apparently, airport employee Laker fans wanted the Celtic families to be tired for game 6 as well.
"Defense" chant for the Celts every time. Feels like a more "into it" crowd than in LA.
5:25, 1st – Kobe's third three. He'll cool off.
Bill Belichick and Aerosmith's Steven Tyler in the stands. Not quite Russell and Hondo, but still a better brand of celeb (Tyler's cool offsets Belicick's nerdiness).
Replay of Ray Allen's lay up shows Odom slapped him in the face - hard. No foul called. Officiating work continues it's sensational record of blindness.
Celtics' shooting has sucked, but it's tied at 14. Good sign for Celtics fans.
3:30, 1st – Walton hits 2 free throws. Wondering if Larry Bird's "Good Luck" phone call to Luke has added some sort of cosmic curse to the Green.
2:30, 1st – Rondo with third steal. Looking to prove detractors wrong.
1:38, 1st – Rondo alley oop to KG. 22-18 Celtics. You can almost hear Rondo saying "See? I do other stuff too!" Yes, but only at home, apparently.
:20, 1st – Kobe forces a three from five feet behind the three-point line. His opening flurry has ended. I expect him to force shots from this point forward.
2nd Quarter
10:35, 2nd – House hits a jumper. He's shooting the ball before he even gets it, this guy.
9:57, 2nd – Doc gets a technical for complaining. Joey Crawford calls it. There’s an official who conjures memories, eh Tim Duncan?
8:12, 2nd – Allen still in the locker room tending to an eye injury on a play that was not called a foul. I forgot he was gone. If the Celtics lose, I'll remember.
6:27, 2nd – Posey and House with rat-tat-tat threes. Celtics by 9. Feels good, but not good enough. No leads, not any of them, feel safe.
6:05, 2nd – Eye doctor into the locker room, Michele Tafoya says this is "taking a lot longer than it should to wash out an eye." On cue, Ray appears from the locker room. He probably realized he needed to stay out for much longer than Pierce did in Game 1 so nobody would make fun of him for having a "fake" injury.
5:25, 2nd – Kobe implodes, practically giving the ball to Pierce, who passes to Posey for a three. Celtics by 14. Don't get lazy, I think. Eliminate now. Don't let this go to game 7.
4:44, 2nd – Allen returns. Crowd goes nuts...well, cheers at least.
4:27, 2nd – Gasol hooks over Davis. Why are you still using him on Gasol, Doc?
3:48, 2nd – Radmanovic over Pierce, and called for over the back. Ticky-tick call – Rad got a little Ginobili’d by Pierce there.
2:38, 2nd – Rondo's fourth steal. Showing what he can contribute…
1:15, 2nd – Rondo sinks a little finger roll to make it an 18-point lead.
:47, 2nd – KG with the highlight of the game so far, knocking home a bank shot while being fouled by Odom. Follows it with a huge block.
Halftime:
Celtics 58-35. Pierce tells Michele Tafoya "We want it too bad to let up on the gas." Amen. Don't let up, Paul. Twenty point leads don't mean a lot in this series (though if the Celts D keeps it up, the lead will mean plenty. This lead, for some reason, feels safer than the Laker leads did. Home court advantage and the defense gives warm fuzzies about this lead.)
Lakers with ZERO offensive rebounds. No team wins that way. KG 8 for 12, getting in the paint as instructed. 2nd quarter shooting: Celtics: 56%, Lakers 23%. Kobe has taken 7 threes...keep taking those all day Kobe. Feels like the last live blog of the season. I hate that feeling, cause I don't trust my feelings. Big believer in the jinxing of one's self and one's team – even though it's a ridiculous belief. Or is it?
Stuart Scott and D Wade have already coronated the Celtics as the Champs. Hate that kind of certainty because that kind of certainty is not reality. Ever. Not with one half of basketball left to play.
3rd Quarter
11:30, 3rd – Rondo opens with a jumper. Like that as a start.
Breen reminds of the near historic collapse of the Celtics in Game 2 (24-point lead in the 4th to 2!). Seems like forever ago, but it brings home how NO lead is safe for either team.
9:52, 3rd – Fisher hits lay up with a three-point opportunity. Celts by 24. Must keep the foot on the gas. Any life will give the Lakers confidence.
9:10, 3rd – Pierce left handed drive makes it 67-41. There is a sense that there's no way he will let this game get away.
7:32, 3rd – Rondo Steal leads to an Allen corner three attempt. Ray stands there for a good two seconds waiting for Vujacic to play defense. Sinks three. Boston 73, LA 46.
Shot of John Havlicek watching the game. Mark Jackson: "Hondo lovin' what Rondo's doing." Dammit, I thought of that first, but Mark has a microphone.
Shot of Red Auerbach II – I mean Danny Ainge. He looks concerned despite the 77-48 score. He's played the Lakers before. He knows.
5:09, 3rd – KG earns a jump ball with a nasty five-finger ball smother chicken on Gasol.
4:38, 3rd – Rondo tips home a KG miss. The man is playing possessed.
4:03, 3rd – Pierce steal (the 13th Celts steal of the game!) leads to free throws. Celts 84, LA 53. Still doesn't feel safe, not with all the leads that have been lost in this series.
2:31, 3rd – Rondo picks Kobe's pocket (his 6th steal of the game). He is making the most solid case ever that he should start – in the Garden anyway.
1:47, 3rd – Celtics seem to be relaxing a bit. Hope it's an illusion.
1:00, 3rd – Lead down to 25. Back to 29 at the end of the third. So in theory, you could not even count the Celtics scoring in the fourth and they could still win. Things that go through a Celtics fan's mind at this point? They almost botched a 24-point lead in Game 2. It's not over.
4th Quarter
11:00, 4th – Missed free throw rebound (three Celtics miss it) goes to Vujacic, V hits a three. Lead down to 26. Here we go.
10:44, 4th – Farmar called for a flagrant on Rondo breakaway. Feels like he got a little Ginobili’d there for a flagrant. God, I like that term.
10:06, 4th – Ray Allen answers a Farmar three with his own. Again stands there all day for a perfect look. Vujacic defense shows up three days later.
9:07, 4th – Another Ray Allen three. Celtics 101-70. OK, feels like it's over. Hate writing those words. Never feel like there are certainties. Also, I think "If I feel it's over, will the Celtics feel it's over as well and stop playing hard?"
Stats show Rondo with 21 points (plus his 6 assists and 6 steals). In my head, I officially apologize to him.
8:39, 4th – Ray Allen with another three. Lead is 34. I am reminded of Kobe's flurry of opening quarter threes he has had in the last few games, and it makes me think of the critical difference between opening "flurries" and the consistent diet of sharpshooting that Allen provides.
5:19, 4th – Ray Allen hits his 7th three. Ray Allen, meet jugular vein. Jugular vein, meet Ray Allen. Guess that eye injury has healed nicely.
In Doc's O'Brien trophy photo shoot, he chose not to touch it. Says he wants to earn it, and only then wants to be able to "touch it as often I want." Insert dirty joke here.
Crowd singing "goodbye" song with 4:30 remaining? Now that's a blowout for you.
4:01, 4th – Allen, Pierce, Garnett taken out of the game. Hugs and kisses on the Celtics' bench.
2:33, 4th - Posey three makes it 123-85. Random thought: For those who like to compare Kobe to MJ, has a Jordan team ever been beaten this soundly in a Finals game, much less any playoff game? Don't have an answer, but I'm curious.
2:07, 4th – 39-point lead. Waiting for that inevitable Lakers run. That's just how fans think. OK, just kidding – I know it's over.
:48, 4th – Vujacic holds his nose after a three. Still looking for that flagrant, even down 40.
Doc gets Gatoraded. Never seen that on a basketball court before. Kinda hoping that doesn’t become a trend – you know how hard it is to clean Gatorade off hardwood? Neither do I. But who wants to find out?
Random celebration observations:
After an odd screaming fit, Garnett has some nice moments with Bill Russell. Random phrases I hear out of KG: "Hope I made you proud...Thanks for everything...You have to tell me where to go tonight [to celebrate]."
During the ceremony, when Stern says "Somewhere Red is lighting a cigar," Wyc Grousbeck, managing partner of the Celts, takes a cigar out of his lapel pocket...as Stern goes on another tangent, Wyc (what kind of name is that anyway?) puts the cigar away with a darn-it-I-can't-make-that-cutsie-comment-I-had-ready look on his face.
Stern booed as he presents MVP award. Rightfully so.
MVP to Paul Pierce. Rightfully so.
Ainge gets head rubs from Pierce and Garnett. Something tells me people will treat Danny like a grade school kid until he's 60.
Do I see Glen "Big Baby" Davis holding Pierce's Finals MVP award during the on-court photo? I imagine he's thinking "only time I'm gonna get my hands on one of these."
Phil Jackson calls "Powe" POW again in the postgame. George Bush Sr. used to intentionally mispronounce Saddam's name as a sign of disrespect. I wonder if Phil's doing it intentionally as well.
Scott Pollard looks awfully out of place dancing and singing in the locker room. I didn’t even know he was on the team.
KG postgame comments – "Except for my kid being born, this is the best day of my life..." waiting for him to hug Apollo Creed and follow with "Yo Adrian, I DID IT!" Refuses to accept Big Three as an appropriate term – makes me like him even more.
Congratulations to the World Champion 2008 Boston Celtics. It was fun to watch.
Labels: Boston Celtics, Evil Ted, game 6, Lakers, Live blog
Having been traveling with my family on a road trip all day, I'm cautiously looking forward to watching Game 4. I am wary, however, having read reports about Paul Pierce still feeling laid back and relaxed about the series, and saying inflammatory things like "We have the better team." Guess what, genius -- Magic thought he had the better team in '84, and you know, he actually might have, but he lost. Pierce's "confidence" hasn't conjured this much foreboding since Tom Brady muttered the words: "Plaxico thinks we're only gonna score 17 points?" Arrogance can ruin even the most talented player.
First Half:
On the way out of Chili's, I extract myself from the family for a second to check the score at the bar - 34 to 14, Lakers. Yikes. The satisfying cheese steak in my belly threatens to return ingloriously. I wonder to myself "How in the hell does a team take a 20-point lead in the first quarter?" It's going to be a long night.
I settle myself in front of a hotel lobby TV at 40 - 19, Lakers, 8:13 left in the 2nd. I am reminded that not too long ago, the Lakers were down by a similar deficit in Game 2 and almost came roaring back. The difference here -- I have far less confidence in the Celtics away from the Garden. This could get ugly.
Michele Tafoya interviews Will Smith. If there aren't enough reasons to hate the Lakers, the star-studded array of Hollywood faces in their crowd is yet another. In the interview, we learn that Will "only" has a "personal relationship" with Kobe. He would know more of the Lakers personally, but he's been "immersed in a character" for 6 months. Barf.
9:57 pm: The Larry / Magic split screen commercial again -- I'm watching it on a wide screen where the image is scrunched down...I learn that when his image is distorted, Larry actually looks like a human being, and not a bloated alien. Scratch that; he just looks like a less bloated alien.
Stat flashes on screen: Kobe has three points, but the Lakers are dominating. Still feeling you have the better team, Mr. Pierce? This is the Lakers team to fear -- the one where Kobe draws defensive attention, but distributes the ball immaculately, causing players like Gasol and Odom and Fisher to flourish. The Celtics defense has that we're-still-enjoying-a-series-lead-and-will-wait-until-our-backs-are-against-the-wall feeling.
3:24 left in the 2nd. Posey three. Lead is down to 13. The Lakers have established a lead early enough where a comeback feels more than feasible. The advantage to playing from behind is that you've got "nothing to lose," while the team with the lead can easily get a little freaked out by the pressure of losing that big lead. even the Zen Master has talked of the difficulty of playing with the lead. It's all psychological; just because you're up 20 doesn't mean you automatically are able to maintain it.
"Wired" Doc Rivers: "We're right there, but we gotta make plays." His voice cracks like Peter Brady in the "time to change" Brady Bunch episode. Every now and again, I get the sense he doesn't know what to say to these guys.
2:25, 2nd: Rondo refuses to shoot, tosses across court to give Allen a terrible 3-point shot.
1:33, 2nd: Posey another three.
Huge Garnett block followed by another hasty Allen missed three. Sometimes when Allen shoots a brick, you can almost hear him emoting "I have to shoot it. I'm Ray Allen, dammit."
Doc inexplicably takes KG out for the final minute of the half. This feels like a mistake, and the commentators are saying it too. The Celts have a chance to bring the lead down to 11 or 10, and instead missed Celts opportunity and a Gasol 3-point play in a KG-less lane takes it to 15.
Farmar hits a three at the buzzer of the first half and the Laker lead is 17. It's a reasonable deficit, but feels like it should have been even closer. Maybe it's just hindsight being 20/20, but KG's absence in that final minute feels like bad coaching. Doc has his "rotation," which likely involves getting people rest at the end of quarters, but sometimes you have to cast aside rotation for the feel of the ballgame. I think about something I've said many times: A coach is judged by whether he over-accomplishes or under-accomplishes with his talent. Doc has plenty of talented players. He needs to live up to them. (Note from Basketbawful: Doc took KG out to avoid having him pick up his third foul; it wasn't a rotation issue. Sorry, ET). (Reply from ET: Great players, even good ones, should be able to avoid a foul call in a 58 second stretch. But given the state of officiating, I suppose I see the point.)
Halftime: (a.k.a., a brief respite from the Laker beating).
Slow motion highlights reveal Pau Gasol to be even uglier than today's Larry Bird. Twenty years from now, I expect his half of the split screen commercial to look like a dead alligator.
Wilbon asks: "Are the Celtics here?" No, Mike. They are in Boston. They expect to go home and win Games 6 and 7. They hate playing away from the Garden and are showing it. If they lose three away and win their four home games to take it all, this will be a very weak champion, in my estimation. Great teams win on the road. Yes, the Celtics took two in Detroit, but three playoff series without a road win will detract from the legacy.
Stern (commenting on the Donaghy scandal): "We'll go back and ask the officials again [if you insist]." Stern has that stupid, defiant smile. Stern and Paul Pierce need to go out to dinner together to be arrogant and confident with each other. And go down in flames together.
Phil Jackson career piece: Early slow-motion footage of Jackson with the Knicks proves Gasol is not, in fact, the most butt-ugly player ever to lace 'em up. Later coaching footage of Jackson proves that men do, in fact, get better looking as they get older.
"Brilliant" -- Kobe Bryant about Phil Jackson. Kobe is just so sweet when he's winning. He'll even ignore a nasty tell-all book that essentially said "Kobe is a selfish, immature turd."
Wired coaches at the half:
Doc: "Make plays on defense."
Phil: "Win the third quarter." (In other words "Don't play like you're ahead by 17." This appears to be, at the moment, not Phil's team's problem, but instead Doc Rivers' greatest challenge: Getting his team to not play like they're ahead 2 games to 1. Yes, the Lakers' defense is better, but it's not that much better, is it?)
Second Half:
Garnett from the top of the key cuts it to 14. I don't care if you're making jumpshots, Kevin -- drive to the hole. Really. No one can stop you. If you don't learn to take it to the hole, I'm going to question your smarts. I'll NEVER question your heart, but I WILL question your smarts.
10:18 in the 3rd. Rondo passes on a LAY UP. No wonder they're not guarding him. This guy needs an IV-mix of Cassell/House plasma. Not a lot, just a little.
More faces in the audience: David Beckham, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Magic Johnson, Jack
Nicholson. Which of these things is not like the others?
6:20 in the 3rd. Finally House is in the game to provide a shooting presence and force the D to play him. Rondo is cooked if he keeps playing this way.
5:00 in the 3rd. Pierce with a great block on Kobe. Allen slammed by Fisher at the other end. No flagrant called. No big deal. I decide my expectation of a flagrant here is Homer Hope. Note to Bawful: "Homer Hope" as a word of the day? Related term: Homer POV - the point of view of a biased individual, which makes arguing with them about a given game or team a pointless endeavor.
3:57 in the 3rd. Posey called for a phantom foul on Odom. Officiating in this league continues to be a joke, as documented by so, so many bloggers. So let's not start.
2:29: 3rd. Illegal screen called on Garnett. Another lame call. Has The Stern Button been pressed to ensure this thing goes seven?
2:01, 3rd. Pierce with a drive, great reverse lay up. Hits the free throw to take it to 9. If he and the Celts pull this one out, I still won't excuse him for being arrogant and overconfident.
1:20, 3rd. House 3 takes it to 6. The Celtics are clearly more effective with House on the floor. Sorry, Rajon: you've been rondo'd.
End of 3. Two Allen free throws and a Brown slam take the Celtics to within 2. There appears to be a God, and he appears to be a Celtics fan.
This is where the rubber meets the road. Kobe will try to take over. If he succeeds, more ridiculous MJ comparisons will be made (it appears people have forgotten just how unbelievably dominating Micheal Jordan was. Kobe, I've seen you play in person. I've seen Jordan play in person. You're no Jordan. You're no Jack Kennedy either.).
End of 3. Doc says to his team: "Do you believe?" Not until you win it all, Doc.
Michele Tafoya asks Phil Jackson about the staggering momentum change. His reply: "Momentum's a strange girl. She just jumped to the other side of the ship." There are so many mixed metaphors there, I don't know where to start. Oh well, he's the Zen Master; he must know what he's talking about, right?
10:10, 4th. Tie game; all of my Stern Button theories appear to be flummoxed. If there are any officiating conspiracies, they are so sophisticated that nobody could possibly uncover them. It's also impressive how they conceal all the fixed calls beneath all of the just plain bad calls; makes it very difficult to prove anything is afoul. Genius.
9:00, 4th. Bryant dribbles the ball off his foot out of bounds. Ref calls a blocking foul on Pierce, as if he can't imagine Kobe would ever bounce a ball out of bounds without being messed with.
8:14, 4th. Garnett misses a tough jumper over Odom (I'm thinking "Why doesn't he spin baseline?" And "Why doesn't he EVER spin baseline?" Guess that's why the D gives him baseline.)
Love Guru movie trailer. Initial trailers looked like crap. More recent trailers make it look...well, watchable, anyway.
5:20, 4th. Posey with another big three. Waiting for "Posey Sucks" chant. None comes, perhaps because it appears he doesn't. Laker lead is 1. (Note from Basketbawful: That's because me and Statbuster weren't at the game.) (Reply from ET: Even Bill Laimbeer would have been revered were he a Celtic. I presume Posey would get a formal reprieve for wearing the Green. And yet a chant of "Vujacic Sucks" doesn't really roll off the tongue, does it. Speaking of which, did I hear "Boston Sucks" from the Laker crowd? That's what they've come up with as a response to "Beat L.A."? I don't like it when Red Sox fans classlessly chant "Yankees Suck," and I don't buy into it from Laker fans either).
4:58, 4th. Gasol tries to draw the foul, hits a critical baby hook over KG.
4:06, 4th. House gives the C's their first lead. Rajon Rondo, rightly, is nowhere to be found.
3:13, 4th. Allen HUGE up and under lay up to put the C's up by 3. This guy has had a fantastic series, where in previous playoff series, he has looked like he's just dribbling around not knowing what the hell to do with the ball. It appears he's figured it out.
Breen utters the words "one of greatest comeback in Finals history." These words were also uttered in Game 2. And almost came true. But didn't. Has Breen just jinxed this one for the Celtics?
Hancock movie trailer: Will Smith playing a superhero with a personality as annoying as his real one. I'll wait for the DVD.
1:44, 4th. Pierce is fouled and shooting freethrows. Breen Says "Pierce 5-for-5 from the line tonight" from the line. Pierce misses. Stat cursed. Celts by 4.
1:13, 4th. Posey AGAIN with a three. 18 points off the bench. Posey came to Boston for less money "to win a Championship." Looks like the dude wants this, and is willing to take the big shots to boot. Pays to have won a championship already; he has zero I'm-nervous-about-being-on-the-verge-of-my-first-championship-itis. Still, I'm not sure I'm so into players who "job jump" for the best situation. Seems kind of cheesy (You listening Shaq?). (Note from Basketbawful: It's called championship piggybacking. C'mon, ET; I make up these terms for a reason.) (Reply from ET: My bad.)
0:16, 4th. Allen single-handedly uses ALL of the shot clock, and then proceeds to single-handedly blow by Vujacic. No help defense is there, exposing this "no-interior-defense" issue the Lakers supposedly have, for one play at least. (Note from Basketbawful: It helps that Doc had five certified shooters on the floor at the same time.)(Note from ET: Agreed, yet Jon Barry used this single play as the prime example of the "interior defense" issue. I don't buy it, which is why I tossed the word "supposedly" in there.) One very huge, huge play. Allen is playing like a guy who just wants to be in charge when it counts, just as Pierce has done at various points of the playoff run.
Vujacic slams a chair, not lost on the enormity if the bucket he just allowed. His "defense on an island" play feels like when the Celts left Allen to one-on-one Kobe at the end of Game 3. The difference is, at least Allen kind of stayed with his man. On the that play, Vujacic played defense like I do...the old give-up-and-reach defense. Note to Vujacic: Don't even bother slamming a chair after defense like that. You didn't just get beat, you gave up on the play.
Final seconds: Lakers are missing threes right and left. Kobe does Reggie Miller's old try-to-get-the-foul-by-kicking-out-my-leg on his three point miss. Unfortunately, nobody is there to kick.
Crowd heads for the exits. Stunning. Despite his team's heartbreaking loss, Will Smith realizes he's still a millionaire, and smiles that he gets to be him.
Well, after opening this up at the 40 - 19 score, I thought I would be documenting a Laker blowout victory. Instead, I'm documenting one of those "greatest comeback" games. Celtics defense showed up in the second half, and the Lakers' defense went slack. Over the course of these games, I think a lot of people are interpreting bad offense as just uninspired play, but the level of the defense in this series has completely dictated the success of the offense (and has revealed the level of determination by each team). If people were expecting an offensive series, it has not been about that -- not in the least. When there have been great surges of offense, it has only been because the defense has allowed it.
What a roller coaster. It went from looking like the Lakers would be taking momentum and a huge win into Game 5, and instead the Celtics have stripped them of a victory and any momentum - and perhaps any self-confidence.
It seems like the Celtics have simply been "turning it on" when they need to - which is partly a sign of how good they are, but partly raises concern about whether they have a killer instinct. It makes me wonder how they would do against a more seasoned team like the Spurs.
The Celtics at worst will go to Boston with a 3-2 lead. Pierce said in his post game interview that he looks to close this series out on Father's Day. Had the Celtics not done what they had just done, and had they not done it with such poise, I'd be cursing Pierce for being overconfident and for giving Phil Jackson bulletin board material. But at this point, I have no reason to criticize a winner, and no reason to be wary in the face of his confidence.
But give it time.
Game 5 looms...
Labels: Boston Celtics, Evil Ted, Game 4, Lakers, Live blog
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