For those of you who have conniptions whenever I have accidentally said "World Champions" in reference to a given NBA champion basketball team, keep in mind BRIAN SCALABRINE is the second-best scorer on his team in Italy. Yeah, yeah, I know there are far better international teams than the one he's playing on, but...just sayin'.

And not for nuthin, the word "Scalabrine" rolls off the Italian tongue as if it were meant to...well, I guess that's an Italian name, so that would make sense.

SCALABRINI MAGNIFICO!



Maybe someday soon Scal will give a press conference like this in fluent Italian, while eating gelato?



And while we're in Italy, might as well revisit the classic Bawful / ET Italy trip...

Labels: Brian Scalabrine, Italy

Many years ago, when Bawful met my first kid, a toddler at the time, he chose to try to entertain said kid by jumping around and doing a monkey dance. I knew instantly this was a mistake. For the next hour, my son commanded that he "do the monkey dance." He soon learned, as I already knew, that apathy and distance is a far better approach.

Anyway, he wanted me to let you children know that Livin' Large should be back tomorrow. While a few of of you couldn't be content to let the guy take a well-deserved break, and chose instead to wise off to me, the vast majority of folks have been pleasant and understanding, and for that I am appreciative.

In lieu of Livin' Large (which will be back tomorrow - did I mention that?), here is our final bit: a couple of DVD Extras (if there were a DVD) - The continued search for basketball in Pisa soiled by ubiquitous graffiti (during which I show that I'm still reeling from a Xanax overdose), and a tribute to the seizure-like editing and direction of Matt Damon's Jason Bourne movies (particularly the third installment - "The Bourne Ultimatum").

Labels: Basketbawful, DVD extras, Evil Ted, Italy

And now, the grand conclusion of the Basketbawful / Evil Ted Italian excursion. At this point in our video, we've completely lost our minds, and I've gone stir crazy to the point of having an unhealthy attachment to the real human hair mustache I purchased before the trip. Thanks Broadway Costumes!

In this installment, we scale the Leaning Tower, enjoy the outtakes, and answer a question raised in Part One.

Labels: Basketbawful, Evil Ted, Italy, mustache, part three, part tre

I hope you all didn't think I was joking. For your convenience, or to amuse yourself as we await our next fix of Livin' Large, Click Here to download IHopeRonArtestRuinsTheLaaaakeeeers.mp3

Labels: Evil Ted, IHopeRonArtestRuinsTheLaaaakeeeers, Italy

The second installment of Basketbawful's and my trip to Italy is the most disturbing and creepiest of the trilogy (I hope). With mention of Italian gas chambers, a run-in with a naughty bidet, and ill-mannered disturbances at the Pisa Baptistry and Cemetery, here's where it gets weird.

Having pretty much given up on our effort to locate basketball in Italy, Basketbawful and I are now exhausted and punch drunk, only able to entertain ourselves with giant calzones, Stracciatella gelato (which is basically a high octane, kick-ass version of chocolate chip ice cream), and nightly doses of fun from our friends at Rifftrax. As a result of our growing weariness, our focus strays from basketball (mostly), and turns to childishness and chicanery.

Watch in horror. Don't say you haven't been warned.

Labels: Basketbawful, Evil Ted, Italy, part deux, part two, pisa

As some of you may already know, Basketbawful and I were sent by our Clark Kent job employers to the graffiti-strewn yet charming hamlet of Pisa, Italy for two weeks of grueling labor, peppered with brief glimpses of sweet, almost vacation-like freedom.

Bawful and I pride ourselves on being able to identify an opportunity, especially when said opportunity smashes us in the face with a shovel. This trip was, quite clearly, a rare chance to bring our special brand of mediocre entertainment to you on a global scale.

Here, we bring you Part One of our video, in which we conduct a not-very-exhaustive-at-all search for the sport of basketball in Pisa. Enjoy.

Labels: basketball, Basketbawful, Evil Ted, Italy, part one, pisa, search

On July 9, Evil Ted and I will depart for Italy, a.k.a., Europe's Boot. No, this isn't a guys trip. If it was, trust me, we'd be going somewhere like Amsterdam. No, our company has decided we're important enough to send to Pisa for two weeks of extensive training. What kind of training? ARMY TRAINING, SIR!!

Just kidding. We'll actually be honing our technical writing skills. Assuming the boredom of said training doesn't finish us off, Mortal Kombat-style.

We'd love to get some pickup ball in while we're there, but...we have no idea where to go, or even if they play pickup in the Boot. Sadly, the almighty Google has failed us. So if you or anyone you know has played at or heard of pickup courts in Pisa or, hell, anywhere else in Italy, let us know.

Labels: European invasion, Italy, pickup basketball

Josh Childress flew the Atlanta coop to play in Greece. Andris Biedrins, Carl Landry, Delonte West and Sasha Vujacic are all considering seeking out big Euro contracts. Hell, Jason Kidd has even suggested he might finish his career in Europe.

OH NO! THE SKY IS FALLING!!

No. No, it's not.

Honestly, I think that -- for the moment anyway -- this whole "The NBA is going to start losing all its players to overseas teams" issue is a little overblown. This isn't a new thing, folks. Did you know, for instance, that Kevin McHale almost never played for the Celtics? He nearly went to Europe to play for an Italian team before his rookie season because he felt the Celtics weren't offering him enough money (they weren't). Boston coach Bill Fitch famously said "Let him eat spaghetti," but Kevin ultimately chose to stay in the U.S.

Almost a decade later, Brian Shaw played one season for the Celtics before leaving Beantown to sign with the Italian team Il Messaggero Roma. (He returned a year later and signed a five-year deal with the Celtics, but then tried to renege and return to Italy. The Celtics sued him, won the case, and forced him to return stateside.) Danny Ferry also played for Il Messaggero (rather than play for the Clippers) before signing his infamous 10-year contract with the Cavaliers. And guys like Bob McAdoo and Dominique Wilkins spent some time playing Euro ball at the end of their careers. Robert Parish considered doing the same thing.

Honestly, I won't be truly worried until one of two things happen: We lose a truly big name player in his prime (LeBron, Kobe, D-Wade, or someone of that stature) or a whole bunch of relatively accomplished / borderline All-Star players in a relatively short period (such as, for example, if Brandon Roy, Gerald Wallace, Jose Calderon, Kevin Martin, Leandro Barbosa, Rudy Gay, and Tyson Chandler all signed with European clubs in the same offseason).

Yeah, yeah, yeah...the Euro is worth more than the Dollar, the players wouldn't have to pay taxes, and Globalization is starting to blah blah blah. You know what? I don't care. This just gives NBA players an extra bit of leverage in their contract negotiations. There is still, on average, more money and benefit to playing in The League than anywhere else on planet Earth. The Atlantic Ocean isn't parting for some mass European exodus just yet. Sure, we lost Josh, and we might even lose a Carl (although I doubt it) or a Sasha (still doubt it). But that's it.

Is it a hint of Things To Come? Maybe. Shoot, I'll even upgrade that to "probably." But it's only a hint, and those hints have come and gone for years. So, for the moment, I'm going to hold off on building that wall around the country to keep our NBA players in.

Update! Carson left the following comment on this post: "One thing I don't really see people mentioning is that Childress is going to be the HIGHEST PAID PLAYER in the Euroleague. Yes, Josh Childress -- the sixth man on the eight seed in the East -- is going to be the best compensated player in the entire Euroleague. It's not like they have big money over there to sign away stars to play against their weaker competition. A lot of the teams in Europe don't even make that much money, which is why they have so many sponsors...it's more of a way for corporations to get good PR. They're making a truly lucrative run at anybody who's good (Josh, you're solid but there's a lot of players better than you) in the NBA."

Indeed. According to ESPN, Childress' deal "is the most lucrative current contract in European basketball and the biggest in Euroleague history." And it's worth about $20 million (after taxes) over three years. Good money, no question...but how many really, really good NBA players would that buy? Plus, seeing as how it's the largest Euroleague payout of all time, I don't think you'll see a lot more Euro contracts like it any time in the near future.

And here's another couple important points. First, Childress can opt out after the first two years of the deal. Second, there's no buyout clause in the contract, which means he could decide to walk away...pretty much whenever. And check out these comments: "I signed this deal with the intention of playing with Olympiakos for the duration, but obviously, if an opportunity comes up in the NBA I'm more than willing to have my ears open to it. I'm an NBA player and I think I've proven that. This is a little change-up." Uh huh.

Labels: Bob McAdoo, Brian Shaw, Danny Ferry, Dominque Wilkins, Europe, Italy, Josh Childress, money, Sasha Vujacic