Friday, December 30, 2011
Bawful After Dark: New Year's Weekend Watch
By Dan B. at 4:56 PM
21 comments




Mike Brown tries to develop a close relationship with his players. Eww.

Welcome to BAD. But first things first, since there is only one way that I can appropriately start this post:



"Merry New Year!!"

Okay, now we can move on.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:


Caption This!
What's up with DeMarcus?




"AAAHHH! A MOUSE!"




Kevin McHale's transformation into Frankenstein's Monster is nearly complete



Birdman wanted to make a defensive play on the ball, but he was too weighed down by all that tattoo ink




Wow, SVG isn't very discrete about dropping a stinkbomb on the first couple rows of the crowd


Friday Nationally Televised Games:
Suns at Hornets, NBA TV, 8:00pm: Free Steve Nash! Free Steve Nash!

Bulls at Clippers, NBA TV, 10:30pm: All right, seriously, are Chris Paul and Blake Griffin going to start connecting on ridiculous alley oops soon or not?

Well?? We're waiting!

All The Other Friday Games:
Cavaliers at Pacers, 7:00pm: I know that we're only two games into the season, so small sample size, yada yada yada. But still. The Cavs bench has outscored its starters 107-94, and this amuses me to no end.

Magic at Bobcats, 7:00pm: Anyone else still unsure about Stan Van Gundy's new glasses? I can't decide if they make his facial expressions funnier or not. We need more proof I suppose. All right SVG, keep doing what you do.

Nyets at Hawks, 7:30pm: Deron Williams on his team's slow start: "It is not time to panic." I beg to differ. You're on the Nyets. It's a PERFECT time to panic.

Pistons at Celtics, 7:30pm: There's a word for games like these: ugly. And if you feel like opening a thesaurus, there are several other words you could pick too, I suppose.

Heat at Timberwolves, 8:00pm: Ricky Rubio!! Screw Lob City -- I'm all about Bounce Pass City.

Rockets at Grizzlies, 8:00pm: Coach Lionel Hollins on the Grizzlies' three point shooting woes: "We don't make 3s; we are not a good 3-point shooting team." Then why does your team have 23 attempts from downtown in just two games???

Craptors at Mavericks, 8:30pm: Well, look who shows up on the Mavs schedule at just the right time.

Wizards Generals at Bucks, 8:30pm: I fully expect Andray Blatche to continue being the most Generals-y player possible. Just saying.

76ers at Jazz, 9:00pm: Greg Ostertag update! He has apparently developed breasts.

Wait, what?

Holy crap, you guys. It's like he's got Muggsy Bogues and Earl Boykins hiding under his jersey.


Saturday Nationally Televised Games:
Jazz at Spurs, NBA TV, 8:30pm: Coming into the weekend, the Jazz are damn close to the bottom of the league in points for and points agaist per game. But they're 6th in assists per game. That's... nice?

All The Other Saturday Games:
Nuggets at Lakers, 3:30pm: A game involving two Western Conference teams that I can actually watch at a reasonable hour? Unbelievable.

Pacers at Pistons, 6:00pm: The Pistons' roster is so brutal that a 37 year old Ben Wallace is still playing around 15 minutes a night at center. That's rough, guys.

Hawks at Rockets, 7:00pm: Brutal: Zach Harper's statistical analysis of Jonny Flynn. "Jonny Flynn has a turnover rate of 100%. He has a PER of -4.8 and a -.305 WS/48. That sounds about right."

Knicks at Kings, 8:00pm: Amar'e Stoudemire is day-to-day with a left ankle sprain. He says it happened coming off of a pick-and-roll. Well, we sure know it didn't happen going up for a rebound...

Suns at Thunder, 8:00pm: I briefly misread this as "Suns of Thunder." It makes absolutely no sense, but would be an awesome band name. You're welcome.

76ers at Warriors, 9:00pm: Can you believe Kwame Brown is only 29 years old? It seems like we've been making fun of him for longer than that already. FYI, his shooting percentage in three games this year is .286. Oh, Kwame. Never change.


Sunday Nationally Televised Games:
Celtics at Wizards Generals, NBA TV, 6:00pm: Thank God we have the Rajon Rondo vs. John Wall battle to watch. The rest of this game will look like a dying fish flopping on the bank of a river.

All The Other Sunday Games:
Nyets at Cavaliers, 6:00pm: Deron Williams has to keep a notebook with him at all times so he can constantly plan his escape from this team, right?

Bobcats at Heat, 6:00pm: The rematch! Let's hope it's half as good as their game earlier this week. And if not, here's a crazy ass picture of Michael Jordan to entertain you.

Craptors at Magic, 6:00pm: This is scary: "Raptors say Aaron Gray is getting monitoring & testing for cardiac health after episodes of a rapid heart rate. He can practice but not play." Let's hope everything is okay.

Mavericks at Timberwolves, 7:00pm: Rubio's bounce passes AND Nowitzki's rainbow jumpers and one-legged shots? Euro awesomeness overload!!

Grizzlies at Bulls, 8:00pm: You know what's really weird? Seeing Rip Hamilton without his face mask. I didn't even recognize him at first when I saw his headshot on ESPN's website today. True story.

Lakers at Nuggets, 8:00pm: Steve Blake's PER is 20.72 so far this season. John Hollinger, what have you done??

Hornets at Kings, 9:00pm: In the first three games of the year, DeMarcus Cousins has put up three double-doubles despite getting less than 30 minutes of playing time in each game. Now, if he ever learns how to actually get the ball through the hoop more than 35% of the time...

Trail Blazers at Clippers, 9:30pm: Early in the season, the Blazers are 2nd in rebounds per game, 2nd in points per game, and 5th in assists per game. Not bad. Not bad at all.

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