THE PITCH

Nike Ad Man: "Ok LeBron, we've come up with something really slick for your next commercial: Scene: morning, Miami. You emerge from your gigantic mansion through wrought iron gates. A bunch of your admirers are anxiously waiting for you."

LeBron: "How long have they been there?"

Ad Man: "Doesn't matter."

LeBron: "Sure it does. I call neighborhood watch if there's people hanging outside my gates for too long."

Ad Man: "These people are harmless. They don't want to hurt you. They love you. They're huge fans."

LeBron: "Like the 'fans' who left Game 6 early?"

Ad Man: "No, no. None of these people could afford a Heat ticket. It's kids mainly."

LeBron: "I'm a grown man. That sounds creepy."

Ad Man: "No, no. It shows you're accessible."

LeBron: "But I'm not."

Ad Man: "Play along dude. Seriously. It's a commercial."

LeBron: "Ok, what next?"

Ad Man: "Then you and your gigantic posse clog up a major highway as if you're the President of the United States, barge through a parade, go swimming, then you school a bunch of inferior street ball players for your own amusement, make a thousand people wait out in the Miami heat while you practice basketball alone in an air-conditioned private gym, then finish up the day by returning to your mansion. The closing shot is your huge wrought iron gates sliding to a close in front the adoring crowd. Deprived of your Godlike presence, they wander off aimlessly and in silence."

LeBron: "I still think that makes me look like kind of a dick."

Ad Man: "Your payment for this commercial will be 12.6 million dollars."

LeBron: "Well, alrighty then. Let's just do it. 'Just do it'...you see what I did there?"

Ad Man: "Good one LJ."

LeBron: "Don't call me LJ."

Ad Man: "Sorry, Mr. James."

LeBron: "Better."