Top ten things David Stern is doing instead of working on a new CBA:
Number 10: Getting offended by Chinese jokes on Basketbawful
Number 9: Counting money
Number 8: Calling Larry and Magic to inquire about a 17th reunion tour. Getting a dismissive dial tone from both.
Number 7: Calling Disneyworld's animatronic imagination engineers (or "animagineers") about hand-waving wax versions of Larry and Magic to appear with him at all public appearances.
Number 6: Calling Disneyworld's cryogenic department to determine if Larry and Magic's actual corpses could be used.
Number 5: Calling a hitman to inquire if he could "make his Larry / Magic fantasy happen sooner rather than later."
Number 4: Answering questions asked of him by the FBI agents at his door.
Number 3: Calling hitman to see if he "does Feds." Hit man asks if he means Kevin Federline, quickly says he will do it for free, and hangs up. Kevin Federline found dead next day.
Number 2: Playing golf with Kyrie Irving and Jimmer Fredette. Asking them if they feel up to being the "new faces of the NBA." Giving each a copy of When the Game was Ours
, signed by him.
And the number one thing David Stern is doing instead of working on a new CBA:
Labels: cba, David Stern, top ten
buying weed at zach randolfs house
dunking on lebron
seeing if any euro leagues need a commish
getting business tatoos
making anon comments on mark cubans website
learning to dribble a basketball
contacting his sources to find out who this mister ruckers and mr goodman are
having a spa day with stu jackson so they can reconnect
playing poker with a-rod
Fave is making anon comments on Cuban's site. Perfect.
Will there be reports on any euro-basket? They are professional players, and there will be some bawful stuff. You know there will.
WV: tiedface. Stern's face grew so long, you could tie a knot in it.
@Rhett: my fave is also the Cuban site postings. But you forgot posting here, criticizing these guys for being far too hard on the poor, poor Heat.
Cruise - "What is...this post."
over and out.