Top ten things David Stern is doing instead of working on a new CBA:

Number 10: Getting offended by Chinese jokes on Basketbawful

Number 9: Counting money

Number 8: Calling Larry and Magic to inquire about a 17th reunion tour. Getting a dismissive dial tone from both.

Number 7: Calling Disneyworld's animatronic imagination engineers (or "animagineers") about hand-waving wax versions of Larry and Magic to appear with him at all public appearances.

Number 6: Calling Disneyworld's cryogenic department to determine if Larry and Magic's actual corpses could be used.

Number 5: Calling a hitman to inquire if he could "make his Larry / Magic fantasy happen sooner rather than later."

Number 4: Answering questions asked of him by the FBI agents at his door.

Number 3: Calling hitman to see if he "does Feds." Hit man asks if he means Kevin Federline, quickly says he will do it for free, and hangs up. Kevin Federline found dead next day.

Number 2: Playing golf with Kyrie Irving and Jimmer Fredette. Asking them if they feel up to being the "new faces of the NBA." Giving each a copy of When the Game was Ours, signed by him.

And the number one thing David Stern is doing instead of working on a new CBA:

Nuthin.

Labels: cba, David Stern, top ten