mullion (mul'-yuhn) noun. A grotesquely fat and/or hideously ugly woman with whom a basketball player will have "relations" when no better options are available.

Usage example: If it's late and you're horny enough, you might just end up with a mullion.

Word History: According to
Merriam-Webster, a mullion is "a slender vertical member that forms a division between units of a window, door, or screen or is used decoratively." But Wilt Chamberlain used a much different definition for the word. In his 1974 autobiography, Wilt: Just Like Any Other 70-Foot Black Millionaire Who Lives Next Door, the Big Dipper described his time time travelling the world with the Globetrotters (whom he usually refers to as the "Globies"), and most of those exploits have nothing whatsoever to do with basketball. If you can believe even half of what Wilt had to say, then I would guess that approximately 80 percent of the world's current population consists of illegitimate Globtrotter children.

Since the Globetrotters were the most famous basketball players in the world (this was well before the NBA had gained widespread credibility), they could usually bag their fair share of hot babes. They would even go into the crowd during games just to get a phone number (or, if they were lucky, a room key). But even the best pickup artists in the world don't succeed 100 percent of the time, and so -- in order to serve the libido -- it was sometimes necessary for them to fall on a grenade (or two, or three, or...). You just couldn't let your teammates find out. Ever.

According to Wilt: "The worst sin a Globie could be guilty of was to be seen with a 'mullion.' If a guy got horny and couldn't find anything but a 'mullion,' he might cop her, but if he spotted another Globie, he'd just take off and leave her standing there. If you said you'd seen him with a 'mullion,' he'd have 101 excuses -- 'That wasn't me' or 'She was begging me for it and I couldn't get away' or "you should've seen this fine fox I copped before you got there; this one was her frient, and I was just being nice.'"

mullion
It's late. And you're horny. And, hopefully very, very drunk.
3 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
more cushion for the pushin

Blogger laura said...
just like spinal tap said: the looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand.

on another note, if you closed your eyes, doing a fat woman might actually feel much much better than doing a skinny woman. let's take for example, the typical maimi heat dancer, who are of course really hot. now close your eyes. chances are her tits are hard. her legs are smooth and hard. her stomach is also flat and hard. in fact, nothing about her is soft. it's almost like making love to a gold bench, really. well, maybe her lips won;t burst from all the collagen. then you open your eyes, and you see how hot she is. but does she feel hot when you close your eyes? well, if you consider hard flesh sexy, which in this case, you're better off doing a guy.

now a fat girl...she don;t look too good, right? but you close your eyes, and she's oh-so-soft. her tits don;t feel like softballs. she's like a really soft human cushion. so if you close your eyes, you would have to admit that she must have felt really good.

unfortunately, society dictates that presentation must trump substance. despite this sad realization, i find it quite hard to shed a tear for the triumph of superficiality.

Anonymous BigBadCarter said...
now a fat girl...she don;t look too good, right? but you close your eyes, and she's oh-so-soft. her tits don;t feel like softballs. she's like a really soft human cushion. so if you close your eyes, you would have to admit that she must have felt really good.


1)If I wanted to dip into a cushion I'd take my Lay-Z-Boy out for surf 'n' turf and to go see a movie.

2) Your eyes may deceive you, but even with your eyes closed, there is nothing like the smell of cottage cheese to shock you out of a "mmmmm, this couch cushion sure feels good"


3) Yea, her jumblies aren't rock hard....unfortunately they are hanging somehwere down around her kneecaps. No thanks.

Links to this post:
Create a Link