Whenever my dad ever heard something ridiculous, he would say "(insert phrase here) my necktie!" Example: In my youth, if I said "I'm a good driver" after my third fender bender in a year, my dad would say "Good driver my necktie!"

Well, Game 7 my necktie. That's all I have to say after watching NBA officials - who continue to make calls like blind men watching the game from the arena rafters through plastic cups half-full of beer - gift wrap game 6 for the Hawks.

In case you didn't know, I, evil Ted, am one of those sad sacks without cable TV. Anyway, I figured I'd venture out to the bar and watch the Celts put the finish on this abysmal series and move on to a more interesting challenge. Instead, I watched Paul Pierce foul out of the game on a play where he was ten feet from the action (if I were officiating a grammar school game and made even one inexcusable call like this I'd be beaten by angry parents in the parking lot), and then watched the Hawks drive and flail, drive and flail, drive and flail, and get call after call.

There's a reason the defensive flop and the offensive flail are so popular - because NBA officials are suckers for it, plain and simple. If NBA officials were teenage girls, they'd be constantly pregnant, because they'd believe every lie the horny teenage boys told them.

Here's your Domino's Pizza "Telling-stat-of-the-Game":
Joe Johnson: 4 for 13, 15 points. That means lots of free throws happening for these Hawks - 47 to Boston's 25, to be exact. Has Boston's defense suddenly started to suck? Or are we seeing what we see every time the NBA playoffs come around - teams desperate to win trying every lame tactic, particularly the flop and flail, to win at the foul line? This is what the league has become, rewarding teams that do this (hello Spurs!) and penalizing teams like the Celtics that are just out there trying to play - gasp - hard-nosed basketball.

That said, the Celtics need to find more poise down the stretch. In the last two minutes of tonight's game 6, they played frantically and out-of-control on offense, just like a team that hasn't been there before. Such play will not serve them well against the Cavs or Pistons...

...and mark my words, the Celtics will move on. With absolutely every advantage handed to them, the Hawks squeaked out game 6 by 3 points. They will not fare nearly as well in Boston.

And someone tell Zaza Pachulia to get off the basketball court and get into the ring with Clubber Lang.

Labels: Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, flail, flopping, zaza