Roy Hibbert came back from the dead to score 28 points last night, which would have surpassed his scoring total for the entire playoffs so far if not for his 13 points in Game 7 versus the Hawks. He also pulled down 9 boards, his single game record for these 2014 playoffs.

Of course, the good people over at Yahoo couldn't miss the opportunity for some truly horrendous wordplay.


An addiction to terrible wordplay is a societal problem with increasing ubiquity in all facets of life, but nowhere is it more ham-handed and cringeworthy than in Yahoo's sports coverage.

I don't know if I'm still using Yahoo in 2014 out of a twinge of nostalgia or because I'm some sort of masochist; whatever the reason, I often use the site to check box-scores and tip-off times.

I suppose the title is meant to capture how Hibbert's performance retained Indiana's playoff hopes; I prefer to assume that it's because the human body is over 70% water, and Roy managed not to piss the bed for once.

Still, it could have been worse; Yahoo had this headline ready if Roy underperformed:



Of course, this doesn't actually get to the bottom of why Hibbert had been playing so terribly to begin with. As always, a plethora of unsubstantiated rumors have been floating around. I've read, among other things, that Bynum kicked Roy's butt in practice a few times, demoralizing him; and that Paul George slept with his woman.

One of those seems a lot likelier than the other, so perhaps it's not a coincidence that the Pacers shut down Bynum for the season shortly before the game. It's all speculation, but this could have given Roy a confidence boost to shut up the haters.

Either that, or he finally got his fiancee to say George's dick isn't bigger than his.

Cheers, Roy. I know the internet can expect Agent Zero's gracious hat eating any second.