Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wally Szczerbiak: Straight pimpin'
The following screen shot was sent in by Ryan M, who said: "Wally Szczerbiak. Looking like a P.I.M.P. If pimps were gay." I'm sorry, Ryan, but I have to completely disagree with you on this one, since that's a totally unfair insult to pimps and gay men everywhere. I can only hope that Wally has a good excuse for that ensemble, like maybe he suffered a near-fatal head would immediately before dressing himself with clothes he found in the drop-box outside a nearby homeless shelter. Otherwise, well, I'm sending his name to the Stacy and Clinton...
Who knew Wally was such a big Arctic Monkeys fan?
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of pimpin', I think we Bawful fans are starting to get serious about season lacktion awards. A few helpful queries:
ReplyDeleteTHE Mario West leading all Mario's with 14 this season, followed by up-and-comer Tarence Kinsey with 8. Hassan Adams and Sun Yue lurk closeby with 4 a piece. link.
It's hard to find trillionaires and suck differentialists with only 4 search terms, But Jarvis Hayes's 16 minute +11 suck might be the highest of the season thus far. From the same list, Trenton Hassell's 10 trillion looks to be the highest as well. You better believe I'm e-mailing basketball-reference to get them to expand the player game finder to 9 search terms.
Clearly, Wally has not retained his fashion knowledge from his Miami University days.
ReplyDeleteAnacondaHL: I wonder if Kinsey will pass Mr. West at some point this season for the overall Mario lead, given his four-game lacktion streak and the Crabs' good run of late (allowing him to be used as a human victory cigar on a regular basis). That four-cigar game against the Hornets tells me how much Mike Brown loves to get his waste disposal experts on the floor at the first possible moment of assured victory...
ReplyDeleteI think Wally World just never got rid of all his Minnesota winter gear. He seems to be channeling Jerry Lundegaard.
ReplyDeleteAlso, looking at that basketball-reference link, NOT at all surprised to see Greg Buckner is 10th on that list of extended stints of mediocrity (not a list of lacktion, with the limited search terms available so far) - two fouls and two bricks gave him +4 in a solid 13 minutes on November 17th, a good early season standard that he has worked hard to attain since.
ReplyDeleteJake Voskuhl shows up unsuprisingly too, with +4 in 11 minutes (3 fouls, 1 brick).
Shockingly, Yakhouba Diawara's longest anti-appearance is 38th on that list, low for someone who has been a lacktion superstar this season.
Yall some haters he just has a red shirt and a big coat. Its cold in the midwest. Its just the colors that throw u off.
ReplyDeleteAaron --
ReplyDeleteFair point but he was not in the midwest. He was in Portland yesterday where it is 50 degrees and sunny. He looks like a gay eskimo. End of story.
Iceberg Slim ain't got SHIT on Wally! Way to represent Miami (*cough of Ohio *cough) son!
ReplyDeletethe current WOTD link: One-name litmus test
ReplyDeletehttp://basketbawful.blogspot.com/2006/07/word-of-day-one-name-litmus-test.html (the automatic link has a URL mistake)
reason I bring this up? It's becoming obvious that for us lacktion enthusiasts, "Mario" is starting to pass the one-name litmus test like never before.
It coulda been worse...
ReplyDeleteunless he's not wearing pants.
Yet another attack of the Szczcerbiak...or possibly on the Szczerbiak
ReplyDeleteI think you need to check that it's an "Affliction" shirt. Maybe Wally's into MMA? Run with that.
ReplyDeletehttp://slamdumb.com/c36.php
ReplyDeletedonno if anyone saw this slamdumb comment... but personally... I'm a big fan of the "Butt Dunk"
Oden Watch Update:
ReplyDeleteI dropped him on the 19th. Due to the fact that my roster wouldn't change until the 20th, I knew he was going to give me a "contract year phenomenon" type of game to try to trick me with buyer's remorse (or, more accurately, "dropper's remorse," I guess).
How did he do against the Bucks on the 19th? Hmm... 24 and 15, with 2 blocks and 2 steals... what?! (I expected it.)
The real question is on the 21st: 10 and 8 with 1 block and 1 assist. Not earth-shattering; but, still, better than most of what he gave me.
As far as I'm concerned, the GO Watch is on. Will he perform against two of the worst teams in the league (Iz & Clips)? Or, will he revert to his old ways?
I, for one, can't wait to find out.
Oh, and, Mr. 'bawful: congratulations on becoming a Mouseketeer.
ReplyDeleteHere's how you can make your blog the best source for Bullsh*t in the history of this or any other western civilization: pay more attention to Scottie Pippen than Michael Jordan.
(Pippen is the one and only reason there will never be another Mike. Will there ever be another player so good; and, yet, so willing to be the sidekick?)
You could also make semi-obscure music references, like, "Noah, Thomas and Gooden are the New Art Ensemble of Chicago."
UPDATE: Holy crap... from the Art Ensemble of Chicago's Wikipedia page, "These characteristics combine to make the ensemble's performances as much a visual spectacle as an aural one..." That actually does kinda describe the Bulls' front court.
And, finally, you should openly pine for the 2010 return of Chicago's wayward son, Dwyane Wade (and, while you're at it, try to fill the entire roster with more guards).
So, I'm still fairly new here-- only started reading around the beginning of this season-- so I might be asking a dumb question that could be answered if I did a little homework in the archives.
ReplyDeleteThat's never stopped me before, though, so here it is: Do we draft an official Basketbawful All-Lacktion team at the All-Star break as a sort of "anti-All-Stars"?
tony bluntana is right give Pippen some attention. If youve ever wondered what happened to Patrick Ewings head after he retired i think it was the fallout from this
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETzpRdC6WS8
u watch n e x-men? doesnt he look like wolverine's nemesis sabertooth...i call him wally sczcbeetooth
ReplyDeleteClifton: I just came up with the idea a few days ago actually, after seeing how many of the same names have started to appear in the lacktion reports. I think though that holding such a poll would be absolutely befitting of bawfulness and is unquestionably a good idea. :D
ReplyDeleteNow, I suggested to Bawful that we get the All-Lacktion competition simmed on a video game and then put the footage of the pain up on Youtube, I don't have said video game necessary for such action though, at least not yet. (I do wonder how much time the folks at EA or any of the other sports video game companies actually take to rate the Mario Wests and Jake Voskuhls of the world...)
Actually, I disagree. Pippen was certainly *part* of the reason for MJ. The real secret of that success was Ho Grant (and his goggles) and Crazy Rodman. They were the ones willing to do anything or nothing for the Bulls. Defend? Check. Rebound? Check. Clog the lane? Check. Ride the pine? Check. Pass the ball? Check. Shoot 10 footers - 1/2 a check - well, even Rodman would do some.
ReplyDeleteNot that Pippen wasn't something. He just wasn't the reason.
I think the site is telling me something - sissidge. Is Pippen a sissidge? Discuss.
That's actually something very common and popular with the youth. Maybe Wally SZ isn't 20-somehting anymore, but dude still looks young so he can pull that off. Most of you guys are just jealous the guy can get as many women as he likes. No homo, but the dude is good looking. Stop looking for any excuse to hate on someone.
ReplyDeletewally's world .. cop the album!!!
ReplyDeleteim imagining the interview in my head ...
duuuude it was totally awesome .. i totally scored a lot of points .. hhyaw i rocked man