Michael Jordan: The Bobcats' part owner was back in his courtside seat for a second straight game after a two-week absence. Active. Involved. Interested. None of these words describe Michael Jordan The Owner.

Al Jefferson: Big Al was strong on the glass (9 rebounds) and actually played a little interior defense for a change (6 blocked shots), but he let his team down on the offensve end, where he shot 3-for-11 and finished with only 8 points...13 below his season average. Said Jefferson: "They're doing a great job of just acting like they're going and stunting. It's messing me up." Uh...can anybody translate that from Big Al to English for me?

Jason Collins: The line: Zero points (0-for-1), 1 rebound, 1 block against and 4 personal fouls in 13 minutes and 13 seconds. Truly some unlucky numbers. And mind you, HE IS MINNESOTA'S STARTING CENTER. It was Jason's fourth scoreless game in 10 appearances this season. He's also shooting only 24 percent on the year, despite the fact that 99 percent of his shots are taken within a foot of the basket. And this isn't just a rough start because of his offseason golf cart injury (and no I'm not making that up): Last season, he went off for zero points in 33 out of 74 games, including one stretch in which he scored zero points 12 times in 15 games while STARTING for the Nets. That's a real waste of seven feet worth if height.

Kevin Love: 10 points and 8 boards is pretty good for a rookie, but kinda sad when compared to O.J. Mayo's recent 30-point explosions. That sound you hear? It's Kevin McHale. Weeping.

The Larry Brown Kool-Aid: The Bobcats are on fire, having won three of their last five games, and Charlotte's players are lovin' Larry because of it. Jason Richardson, who had a game-high 25 points, said: "It's pretty difficult because there are so many demanding things that he wants you to do. But we're a team that's willing to learn, was ready to listen and looking for something different. We still don’t have everything down, but the things we're doing are heading toward it." Emeka Okafor, who finished with a season-high 24 points on 9-of-14 shooting, said: "That's his history with teams. When he first comes in it takes some time to adjust. There's a learning curve. Once everybody learns it, people get going."

Now, it might be worth pointing out that those three wins came against the slumping 76ers, the always-ready-to-give-up-a-lead Pacers, and sadsack Timberwolves. But whatever. It's cute that they 'Cats think they're "getting it." However, if Okafor's talking about Brown's history, he should probably also mention that things usually end ugly.

Adam Morrison: Wanna see Adam getting posterized? Well, here you go. Morrison also got flushed on by Rashad McCants (who apparently McCan dunk on Adam). In fact, if you check out his Yahoo Profile, there are seven pictures of Adam: Two of him getting dunked on, two of him getting shot over, and three of him committing a foul. Including one foul that's inexplicably described as Morrison getting dunked on by Luke Ridnour (who's not even in the picture). Good times.

The Orlando Magic defense: I know they're the Boston Celtics and everything, but the Magic sure didn't do a very good job of staying in front of anybody. The C's shot 60 percent in the first quarter and 54 percent for the game. Paul Pierce shredded them for 17 points in the third quarter. Said Stan Van Gundy: "We didn't do a very good job on the pick and rolls in the second half. I think more than anything it was a problem with our schemes and preparation." Hmm. Now, Stan, remind me again: Who's responsible for the schemes and preparation?

Anthony Johnson, excuse machine: The Magic were without their starting backcourt last night: Jameer Nelson missed his fourth straight game with a hip flexor and Mickael Pietrus is on injured reserve with a torn right thumb ligament. This caused Johnson to offer the following observation: "Yeah, they smacked us tonight. But with two healthy squads I feel very good." Right. Well, uh, sorry, Anthony, but while I admit having those guys back would make the team better, I'm still not sure you guys are one Jameer Nelson and Mickael Pietrus from being better than (or even as good as) the Celtics. But I'm glad you'd feel very good. That's something.

Bob Delaney, David Guthrie, Gary Zielinski: Things got a little wacky at the Garden last night as the refs demanded that everyone present respect their authori-tah. I'll let Basketbawful reader Garron take this one: "The officiating crew last night was weird. The calls were fine, but technicals were everywhere. Eight were called in total, four by referee Bob Delaney. In fact, during a timeout Delane called a double technical on Sam Cassell, who was just sitting at the end of the bench and had to be sent out. Still no word on what actually happened. Then during the next timeout there was a technical called on the MIDDLE of a timeout while Rondo was in the huddle. Other weird technicals were called on Stan Van Gundy (for arguing a call) and Rashard lewis who, after making a very difficult behind the backboard circus shot, pumped his fist in the air."

When asked why he received his technical, Rondo said: "I don't know. Everyone got a technical." Added Doc Rivers: "This was one interesting game. A lot of technicals. I better be quiet before I get a technical." Now, regarding Same Cassell...

Sam Cassell: Sam now has more technicals (2) and ejections (1) than minutes played (zero). Last night, he was apparently bounced from the bench for complaining about a foul that David Guthrie called on Perkins. Said Rivers: "I told him he took a bullet for me, because I thought it was on me and I wasn't saying anything, so I was upset. I think they were trying to clean the game up. There was a lot of complaining going on. Unfortunately, when that's happening, the first guy who talks gets the tech. And Sam was that guy."

Cleaning up the game is one thing. Last night's techfest was a big much. Anyway, on the subject of Sam I Am, he decided to weigh in on the whole Stephon Marbury Fiasco going on in New York. Cassell thinks the whole deal is "bad for the league" and believes (like just about everybody else) that the Knicks need to get 'er done with regards to cutting Starbury loose. Said Sam: "They really need to get that thing resolved. It doesn't look good for both parties. Steph wants to play and he's better than the guys playing ahead of him. I don't understand it."

Uhm...not sure about that "better than the guys playing ahead of him" part, Sam. But I'm totally with you on the rest of it.

Brian Scalabrine: The Lord of the Rings registered two minutes, a missed shot, and a suck differential of +1. Not a bad night's work...for Jason Collins. And check out Scal's Yahoo Profile: The lone picture is of him getting scored on by Jamal Crawford. Even in his own world, he's the "other guy" in the poster.

And now, as an added bonus, Brian's theme song:

The Golden State Warriors: At this point, the Warriors are inventing new and fascinating ways to lose on an almost nightly basis. If only they could use their amazing creative powers to cure cancer or develop a truly everlasting Gob Stopper. Or, you know, win a game.

Last night -- the Warriors' seventh straight defeat, by the way -- the Golden Staters blew the game in a variety of ways. First, they let Udonis Haslem score off an offensive rebound/putback at the buzzer to send the game to overtime. (And that was only one of several second-chance buckets the Warriors surrendered.)

The Warriors were leading by 3 points with less than 10 seconds left in OT when Chris Quinn hit a tying three-pointer at the 7.1-seconds left mark. Michael Beasley then stole the ensuing inbounds pass, got fouled and made the game-winning free throw. Gah. Said Don Nelson: "Well it was a whale of a game, wasn't it? We sure gave it away at the end. Couple of breakdowns just at the wrong time. I thought we had the game won. It will be a hard loss to get over." Don't worry. I'm sure Nellie was feeling better by the fifth or sixth post-game beer. Anyway, I can hardly let this one go without giving a WotN mention to...

Andris Biedrins: He had 17 points (7-for-10), 15 rebounds and only 2 turnovers. However, the second turnover was the inbounds pass that was snatched by Beasley and cost Golden State the victory. Good job, Andris.

Dwyane Wade's butter-soaked fingers: Pookie was once again magnificent -- 37 points, 5 rebounds, 13 assists -- but, as usual, he had trouble holding onto the rock and finished with a game-high 7 turnovers. Fittingly, this allowed him to take back the lead in turnovers per game from Golden State's Stephen Jackson (who had 4 last night). Currently, Wade is averaging a league-worst 4.0 TOs per game while Captain Jack is averaging 3.9. I think this is going to be a season-long battle, folks. I can't wait to see how it turns out.

Quote machinery and stat cursery: Basketbawful reader Garron informs me that one of the Warriors broadcasters made the following quip last night: "Timeout miami. 125-123 to the Warriors. First to play defense wins." However, according to the official game log, after that timeout Ronny Turiaf blocked Dwyane Wade's shot...and the Warriors went on to lose anyway. Ergo, Golden State got stat cursed by their own commentator. Whoops.

Kobe Bryant: Mamba advised Donnie Walsh not to buy out Stephon Marbury's contract. Said Mamba: "Don't give in to Steph's demands. Make him beg."

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Anonymous Anonymous said...
No Sam Cassel? 0 minutes (for the season), 2 techs, 1 ejection. What's a guy have to do to be worse? I don't even know where that fits on your trillion scale.

Blogger furiousbert said...
That is DEFINITELY not Kevin Ollie...

Is anyone knows about the Bobcats' Arena song played for a jumpball ? That's weird, there is like 6 jumballs during the ball game and this song remains on my mind...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Seven turnovers is bad, averaging 4 is bad, but Wade handles the ball more than almost anyone else in the game when on the floor, and he's on the floor longer than most anyone else. Why look for flaws in the game of the guy who had 37 pts, 13 assists, and 3 blocks when he plays with the likes of Chris Quinn with his big, funny ears, and Mark Blount! That's where the real commedy is at.

And actually, Nash leads the league in turnovers per 48 minutes, and no one thinks he is careless with the ball.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
anonymous #1 -- Actually, Sam's "accomplishment" was noted, although I omitted putting his name in bold to introduce it. That has been fixed.

furiousbert -- Ah, yes. Fixed.

awopbopaloobapalopbamboom -- Just so you know, I typed out your cut and paste job. Anyway, no, I don't know what song that is. Anybody else know?

anonymous #2 -- First, Wade handles the rock pretty much like most NBA starting PGs. He also has a usage rate similar to LeBron, Kobe and Carmelo...yet he has twice as many TOs as Kobe, almost twice as many as LeBron, and nearly 20 more than 'Melo.

Also, Wade doesn't really play with Mark Blount...since Mark Blount doesn't play. (And practice doesn't count. Although it's questionable whether Blount is even practicing at this point.)

Plus, I'm not sure it's a teammate thing anyway. Wade has averaged 3.9 TOs per game for his this isn't some new thing for him.

As for Nash, he's had some big TO games this season and been mentioned in WotN for it. He has been careless with the ball to a point...but the bigger problem seems to be that the Suns' spacing has been thrown off by the presence of Shaq and the team's lack of three-point shooters. Their offense is wacked out. Which doesn't excuse all of the turnovers, but it at least explains them. And as I pointed out, while this is a new thing for Nash, it's not for Wade.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I cant believe you didnt, you know, put any you knows in Mikes quote bubble, you know? BTW I feel like the refs dont respect the Celtics as champs and thats why they get t'd up after complimentary championship trash talk, good thing GP doesnt play for them he wouldve been suspended by now.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
anonymous #3 -- I added a "you know" just for you. And yeah, GP would probably be serving a 45-game suspension for the amount of trash talk he'd be spewing right now.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
David Stern might just give him that suspension if he gets wind of all the trash talk Garys doling out on that show. Somehow he'll dock Gps pay as well, he can pull it off, hes jewish. Thanks for, you know, that thing you know?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'm not blaming his teamates for his turnovers, I'm just saying that is where the funnies are, not in a guy having a ridculous good year.

Wade isn't a PG either. Same with S-Jack, they are both 2 guards put in a position to play the point, they turn the ball over more than they otherwise would.

No arguments that LeBron takes better care of the ball. Saying Wade has almost twice as many TOs could be a little stretch, (Wade has 72 on, James 48, but point taken). 'Melo per 48 minutes is right up there next to Wade. I think that stat is worth looking at beyond just raw turnovers.

Also, I can't believe you gave KOBE props over any other person in this league! You must really hate Wade, heh. Anyway, just my thoughts, as always the site is great.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Bit harsh on my Magics, Bawful. No Jameer Nelson, who would at least be quick enough to stay with Rondo, no Pietrus who has been outstanding on D this year and also been potent from three and then no Bogans who has been very solid on both ends off the bench and you torch them for not keeping the defending champs in check in Boston?

With those three in the game ahead of an ageing Johnson and a funky-shooting Redick, especially on the road, Orlando would have been much closer and probably had chances to snatch the game, especially since Turk has Pierce's number after that Billy Big Balls shot right in PP's face last season. Yeah, that's right, we're still dining out on that moment.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
you've left maggette off of the WoTN shitlist. he was the one called for the blocking foul which gave wade a wide open free throw line shot (eventually converted into an and-1). then about 5 seconds before the biedrins turnover, let chris no-love-from-shaq quinn drill that 3 over him. umm, is this the guy with too many muscles to count ( , 40" vertical AND 4 inches on quinn? ahh golden state, where 'almost' happens too often

Blogger Wild Yams said...
You know, you keep picking on Kevin McHale, saying he's all upset and "weeping", but in case you hadn't noticed, the team he helped put together is off to a 17-2 start this year.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"First, Wade handles the rock pretty much like most NBA starting PGs. He also has a usage rate similar to LeBron, Kobe and Carmelo...yet he has twice as many TOs as Kobe, almost twice as many as LeBron, and nearly 20 more than 'Melo."

Kobe has fisher, odom, and farmar
Lebron has mo
melo has billups

wades TO's are infuriating at times but it doesn't bother me a bit that he leads the league in them considering how the game is played when he is in. Now Jackson a SF leading the league in TO's? a no-no

and how DARE anonymous 1 insults chris quinn! Chris quinn is a kapono who can pass with a john stockton demeanor. Really I've never seen him smile or laugh

Blogger David Whang said...
clicked on ur link of the posterized dunk and i guess kevin ollie turned into a ghost cuz he's pretty damn white

check it out yourself

Anonymous Anonymous said...
From the AP report on the Charlotte/Minnesota game: "Brown said before the game he’d like the NBA to work on increasing the number of shots teams take. “I watch the old-time teams play and if you didn’t take 100 shots in a game, it’s a bad offensive outing,” Brown said."

This is the same Larry Brown who goes out of his way to have like the slowest offense in the league, right? I mean, nobody's stopping him from coaching like Don Nelson if he wants to, why does he need the league to help him increase the pace of the game?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...

So using the magic of basketball-reference, I looked at the TOV% of 5 players mentioned:

Rk Player TOV TOV%
1 Dwyane Wade 72 13.80
2 Stephen Jackson 66 16.00
3 Steve Nash 60 24.15
4 Carmelo Anthony 56 15.08
14 LeBron James 48 10.53

So at first it's like, oh wow Wade's TOV% is low. Maybe I should cut him a break. But TOV% is just an estimate using personal FGA, FT, and TOV, so it's unfair for pass first guards (see Jason Kidd and Earl Watson) and becomes quite low for those who shoot lots despite turning it over lots. So here's again TOV/48min:

Player TOV/48min
Dwyane Wade 5.1737
Stephen Jackson 4.4184
Steve Nash 5.3333
Carmelo Anthony 4.9231
LeBron James 3.7957

Here, Jackson looks better and Carmelo a tad worse, with Nash looking worse than Wade. But hold on! Each team plays at a different pace, so 48 minutes isn't really the same across teams (different amount of possessions, etc). So I calculated the Team Possessions per game, mixed with their TOV/game and here's the avg TOV responsible per 100 Team possessions!

Dwyane Wade 4.396792801
Stephen Jackson 3.962708953
Steve Nash 4.08735571
Carmelo Anthony 3.711010841
LeBron James 3.148205099

And my faith in my instincts, statistics and fantasy hoops is restored. Wade is bumblefingers, QED.

We could go onto TOV responsible per 100 personal possessions, to account for games/minutes where the player is not in the game, but that would require the formulas from Dean Oliver's book. Besides, basketball is a team sport, right?

Interesting note: Team TOV per game: Miami is the lowest of the 5, making Wade's TOV/100POSS look slightly higher.

Player TOV/g Tm TmTOV/g
Dwyane Wade 4.0000 MIA 11.9
Stephen Jackson 3.8824 GSW 14.4
Steve Nash 3.7500 PHO 16.5
Carmelo Anthony 3.5000 DEN 15.9
LeBron James 2.8235 CLE 12.3

Assuming Miami has 17 TOV per game, Wade's TOV/POSS becomes 4.28, I'm just sayin'.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
That coat Michael's wearing deserved a WoTN on its own. I don't wanna Be Like Mike when Mike tries to Be Like Craig Sager.

On another issue - I think someone (me?) proposed this before, but how about a new descriptor called the "Collins Twin"?

This would apply to a player that, having played significant minutes (12 minutes plus, say), scores zero points and has very little other statistical impact.

Word usage: "The other day vs Memphis Bruce Bowen had a Collins Twin by shooting 0-3, with 2 assists and 1 TO in 15 minutes of lack-tion."

This would be a fitting homage to Jason and Jarron.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Don't try and blind me with stats and facts! Very nice breakdown of the information, Anaconda. He turns it over quite a bit, not denying that, maybe even slightly more than the players we have mentioned, also ok. I'm just saying the man is on WotN a LOT for winning games every night for his "team" (with some help from Chris Quinn, appologies to kazam).

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I just saw robin lopez's mugshot:

And thought 'wow, that looks just like one of those randomly-generated players from an nba video game' - you know, the random guys created when you're simulating drafts during a "dynasty"?
The picture even looks computer generated, and all stretched out because they decided his mouth needed to be set to '99' rather than the default of '50'

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Along with all the TO stats, you have to ask yourself 'who would you want to give the rock to on an important possesion?' and I think wade is high up on that list, not just for scoring but for decision making and just getting-something-from-nothing-ness.

Why is carmelo on the list? Isn't he the one who sticks out like an ugly guy with braids?
Wade, Nash, LeBron - we're used to seeing them dribble around on lots of possesions and TOs happen when trying to force through traffic. My mental pic of mello is him getting the ball in the post, bouncing twice, and having it bounce off his toes into Nash's hands who goes coast-to-coast and finishes with a 360' dunk. My mental pics aren't always completely accurate...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
thank you anonymous 1! I've heard all the jokes about him looking like a kid blah blah blah but chris quinn is a F*cking ballplayer!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
wow..kevin love suuuure does remind me of kevin ollie...;_ylt=AvnR1RDbAagxoYIYY2SgFJNVPaB4?slug=b11bebcdf9fe0f3eb016203d55b0a3cd-getty-82994368bw009_min_bobct

thank you Mr.Brock Williams-Smith..i think this would be handy for you

Blogger Drake said...
It looks like the Yahoo wins-losses-record-ologist is at it again with the Pacers. Indiana sent the Lakers home with their second loss of the season tonight. Yet, they get saddled with the loss again.

It's as if Yahoo can't believe that the Pacers won for a change. "Wow, really? They won?"

Blogger C.J. said...

Drew Gooden- The good: 5 boards (though for a PF, I don't think that's that good), 3 assists, and 1 steal.

The bad: the beard.

The ugly- 0-5 from the floor, 6 (6!) TO, and 5 fouls. How does a power forward turn the ball over 6 times?

In other news, Derrick Rose is really, really good.

Blogger Preveen said...
Arlen, isn't that Brook Lopez? Robin is the one with the Varejeo hair on the Suns, right?