Labels: Powerless rankings
Labels: Chris Bosh
Washington (15-41), one of the worst teams in the league, has lost three straight. With its season long gone, it made a trade during the game to stock up for the future.I think he means "when the season is over, guys will have a sense of relief."
The Wizards sent guard Kirk Hinrich and forward Hilton Armstrong to the Atlanta Hawks for guards Mike Bibby and Jordan Crawford, forward Maurice Evans and a 2011 first-round draft choice.
"It was a pretty tough thing to hear," Wall said. "Kirk's a veteran guy who taught me an awful lot about NBA basketball. I'll really miss him. And Hilton was a good friend, too. I wish them both well."
Hinrich and Armstrong were on the bench for the whole first half, but never came out of the locker room after halftime.
"I think when the deadline is over, guys will have a sense of relief," Saunders said.
But Chicago's defense -- which began the day ranked first in Defensive Efficiency and ended the night ranked second -- was as out of synch as it's been all season. The Raptors shot 58.1 percent from the field. That was a season-high for Bulls opponents. Toronto's 118 points were the second-most the Bulls have surrendered this season.So, uh, if the Bulls can’t stop Andrea Bargnani (24 points), DeMar DeRozen (24 points) and Amir Johnson (17 points on 8-for-8 shooting), how in the world are they going to slow down LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh tonight?
The fact that the Raptors put up so many points without hitting a single three-pointer (0-for-5) highlights just how awful the Bulls D really was.
Toronto had 29 assists, went 32-for-34 at the line and scored 58 points in the paint.
Let's face it: Everybody thought Noah's return would improve the team’s defense. At absolute worst, it should have been a zero-sum situation, right?
Instead, the Bulls looked like they had never stopped anybody from doing anything ever. I wouldn't have been surprised to find out the players returned to the locker room to find their clothes and wallets gone. And then flew back to Chicago to discover their cars had been broken. Their locks changed at home. Their identities stolen.
Or maybe that was just their defensive identities.
Hey, coach Thibodeau: What went wrong?
"What didn't?" he said. "Every aspect. Start with defensive transition, keeping the ball out of the paint, challenging shots. Every aspect of our defense went out the window. Offensively we scored more, but defensively it was a disaster."
In all, the Raptors went 5-for-5 on dunks and 17-for-21 on layup attempts. According to Hoopdata, the Bulls usually hold their opponents to a 61.7 percent conversion rate at the rim. That number ranks 10th in the league. Last night, Toronto converted well over 80 percent of their shots at the rim. Basically, Chicago did everything short of laying out a welcome mat and personally escorting the Raptors to the hoop.
How bad are you defensively when Jose Calderon starts punking you out?The Milwaukee Bucks: So the Knicks beat the Bucks in 'Melo's debut. This shows how good New York can be in a two-superstar system, right? Maybe. But I'd like to point out that the Bucks rank dead last in Offensive Rating (101.2), but they scored 110.8 points per 100 possessions against the Knicks. And, what's more, Milwaukee's 108 points was their third-highest point total of the season.
"Korver was sometime on LB [Leandro Barbosa], sometime on DeMar. I was trying to find the guy being guarded by Korver and play the pick and roll with them."
So much for Gay Elf Defense.
Rockets-Cavs: Ryan Hollins had two boards in 17:35, but bricked four times and fouled thricely for a 3:2 Voskuhl.
Pistons-Pacers: DaJuan Summers experienced some Super Mario sunshine in just one second of play to close out a Detroit loss!
Purple Paupers-Magic: In a shockingly non-celebratory event, Chris Duhon drained his Game Boy's batter in just 20 seconds for a Mario.
Generals-Sixers: Washington's Kevin Seraphin shorted out a board with two fouls and a turnover in 10:29 for a 3:1 Voskuhl, while the Sixers' Darius Songaila sang a tune of lacktivity by bricking once in 6:58 and adding on two lost rocks and four fouls for a +7 that doubled as a 6:0 Voskuhl!!!
Bulls-Craptors: Omer Asik went on the WiiPlay cow riding module for 24 seconds to earn a Mario in victory.
Jazz-Mavs: In the first game of the Post-Deron Williams Era, Kyrylo Fesenko kept lacking it up as always, fouling twice and bricking once in 6:07 for a +3 and a 2:0 Voskuhl. Meanwhile, Dallas's DeShawn Stevenson tossed two pieces of masonry and earned a foul and giveaway each for a +4 in 5:26.
Clippers-Hornets: Willie Warren went 100% from the Vieux Carre (on one attempt) but only had 51 seconds of parading for a Mario, the same timespan as New Orleans's Quincy Pondexter!
Lakers-Frail Blazers: Armon Johnson hammered out a 100% shooting percentage (on one attempt)...in only 8 seconds of gameplay, earning himself a SUPER MARIO!
Labels: Worst of the Night
Craptors-Bobcats: Joey Dorsey polished his blades of steel in just 49 seconds by skating briefly on the court for a Mario!
Pacers-Generals: Despite checking a board into his tab, Hilton Armstrong also only lasted 54 seconds on the hardwood for a Mario.
Purple Paupers-Heat: Jamaal Magloire made a board irrelevant in 3:57 with a brick and three fouls to give Miami a 3:1 Voskuhl.
Wolves-Bucks: Tiny Earl Boykins barged into 8-bit gaming with a 22 second celebratory Mario.
Clippers-Thunder: Rasual Butler clearly took his Null-Star snub to heart, gathering up a 4.8 trillion (4:49) that will no doubt earn him access to Donald Sterling's janitorial closet.
For Oklahoma City, Nick Collison combined a board, two made free throws, and two steals in 22:33 with three fouls and a turnover for a 4:3 Voskuhl.
Celtics-Warriors: Semih Erden erased four assists and a board in 17:10 with four fouls and a turnover for a 5:1 Voskuhl.
East Oakland's Charlie Bell rang up a foul in 2:16 for a +1.
Labels: Worst of the Night
Starters:Western Conference Null-Stars:
Von Wafer, Celtics: 2 Super Mario Galaxies. 7 appearances with trillions for a combined total of 20.45 trillion, averaging 2.9 trillion per lacktive game. 5 suck differential games, for a total of +10.
Quinton Ross, Nyets: 3 Marios, averaging 24 seconds per Mario appearance. 4 suck differential games for a total of +11.
Jason Kapono, Sixers: 7 Marios, averaging 19.4 seconds per Mario apperance, with 2 Super Mario Galaxies.
Brian Scalabrine, Bulls: He's the Null-Star equivalent of Tim Duncan in this year's All-Star game, getting essentially the "lifetime achievement" spot. Yes, a lifetime achievement of towel-waving and contributing only on the rarest of occasions.
Joel Anthony, Heat: Total suck differential of +11, averaging +3.7 per lacktive appearance. 15 Voskuhls. Two triple zeros in one month.
Stephen Graham, Nyets: 4 suck differential games, +13 total, averaging +3.25.
Trevor Booker, Generals: 4 Marios, averaging 17 seconds, with 2 Super Mario Galaxies. Combined trillion efforts of 7.5 trillion, averaging 3.75 trillion per lacktive game.
Johan Petro, Nyets: 14 Voskuhls
Sherron Collins, Bobcraps: 3 Marios, averaging 10.7 seconds, with 2 Super Mario Galaxies. 4 suck differential games.
Semih Erden, Celtics: +12 total suck differential, averaging +6 per lacktive game.
Hilton Armstrong, Generals: 3 Marios, 11 Voskuhls.
Ryan Hollins, Cadavers: 9 Voskuhls.
Starters:And now, enjoy BawfulTV's coverage of the game. Here's Kevin Harlan and Clark Kellog with the call, and Doris Burke reporting from the sidelines. I didn't believe it was possible, but I'm fairly certain this game was even more bawful than last year's game. Prepare yourself for blown dunks, an over-and-back violation, and the worst shooting in the history of organized basketball.
Ronnie Price, Jazz: A combined effort of 10.2 trillion in just two lacktive efforts, averaging a mighty 5.1 trillion per game. 5 suck differential games for a total of +10.
Quincy Pondexter, Hornets: 3 games with trillions, for a total of 7 trillion, averaging 2.33 trillion per game. 4 appearances with suck differentials.
Luke Babbitt, Blazers: 6 appearances with suck differentials, and one of the few Blazers with working legs.
Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson, Kings: 5 Marios. A total +10 suck differential, averaging +3.3 per lacktive game.
Hasheem Thabeet, Grizzlies: 5 suck differential games, and 12 Voskuhls.
Willie Warren, Clippers: 10 total trillion in just two lacktive appearances, averaging a staggering 5 trillion per appearance.
Dan Gadzuric, Warriors: A total suck differential of +10, averaging +3.3 per lacktive game. 10 Voskuhls.
Jarron Collins, Clippers: 5 games with trillions, combining for 12.1 total trillion, averaging 2.42 trillion per lacktive game.
Steve Novak, Spurs: 3 Marios. 3 games with trillion box score lines. Most Bawful Player from the 2010 Null-Star game.
Kyrylo Fesenko, Jazz: 5 suck differential games, with a league-leading 16 Voskuhls.
Sam Young, Grizzlies: 5 suck differential games, for a combined +14.
Brian Cardinal, Mavericks: Averaging 2.43 trillion per lacktive appearance, plus 5 games with suck differentials.
For the East, Ryan Hollins racked up one personal foul in four minutes for a +1. For the West, Sam Young had 5 missed shots, 2 fouls, and 1 turnover for a stunning +7 while Kyrylo Fesenko cashed in for 2 trillion.
Most Bawful Player:
While Sam Young did rack up a mighty lot of failure in his 9 minutes on the court, I have to give the nod to Luke Babbitt. Though he did add 6 points, 2 boards, and a steal, he also went 1-13 from the field and absolutely destroyed his team's offensive flow on nearly every possession, shooting bad jumper after bad jumper early in the shot clock. His game-worst -27 further proves his status as the Most Bawful Player.
Von Wafer nearly destroyed the civilized world with a dunk that approached Chaos Dunk territory. It decapitated everyone within several yards of the basket, as captured in this striking image:
Generals-Magic: Hilton Armstrong checked into the ledger with a board countered by two fouls in 8:02 and a turnover for a 3:1 Voskuhl.
Nyets-Celtics: Johan Petro provided his usual Voskuhl by pureeing a pair of points in 10:47 (and a board) with three fouls and two giveaways for a 5:3.
Fellow Jersey Shore lounger Ben Uzoh ultimately undermined contributory basketball by bricking twice in 86 seconds, taking a rejection, and fouling once for a +4.
Clippers-Wolves: Brian Cook warmed up a foul and two charity stripe misses in 1:18 for a +3.
Purple Paupers-Mavs: Luther Head tossed spiky shells for 37 seconds to earn a non-celebratory Mario. Meanwhile, the Mavs' Ian Mahinmi made a board meaningless in 7:23 after losing the rock once and fouling out for a 7:1 Voskuhl!
Nuggets-Bucks: Jon Brockman fouled once for a +1 in 3:13.
Warriors-Jazz: Ekpe Udoh undid a rebound in 15:42 with four fouls and two turnovers for a 6:1 Voskuhl, while fellow Bay Area resident Vladimir Radmanovic bricked thricely in 7:27 and also fouled that amount for a celebratory +6!
For Utah, Kyrylo Fesenko found himself back in the ledger by augmenting an assist with a foul and turnover in 6:09 for a 2:0 Voskuhl. And Francisco Elson finagled a shot attempt for a +1 in 2:38.