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Monday, July 28, 2008

Kobe's teeny laptop

The following picture was sent in by Alexis-RS, who said: "Is Kobe Bryant going broke? Investors say "no," but I say "yes" judging by the craptastic nature of his laptop pictured on the NBA.com homepage. Holy Kendrick Perkins is that screen small! To make things funnier, it doesn't even look like it plugs in, so once the battery goes dead we can assume he's going to spend the rest of the flight to Macao belittling his teammates and reading about squirrel-proof birdfeeders in Skymall."

kobe flight

Hm. I'm not sure the laptop is really as small as it appears. I think this is a textbook case of forced perspective, which is the film technique Peter Jackson used in the Lord of the Rings movies to make Gandalf's hat look extra pointy. And although you can't see it, Kobe's laptop is connected to a wire that leads to a small compartment in the hull of the plane where several midgets power it by running on midget-sized hamster wheels. Those same midgets are later crushed into paste and fed to Kobe's dogs. Which sounds cruel and inhumane, I know, until you remember that midgets killed your father.

10 comments:

  1. First midget related post ever. Sellout. Im gonna continue to add that into my posts, just for fun,

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  2. So what if the LCD is small? It's lighter.

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  3. Most laptops will look small when you compare them to NBA players.

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  4. That looks like a pretty tricked out little Assus laptop which actually is one of the better portable laptops on the market... From a nerd standpoint a pretty good choice :p just had to throw in the nerd 2 cents

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  5. rhybread -- Yeah. That's why I made the "forced perspective" comment.

    nik -- Oh yeah, I figured as much. Kobe's going to have the best of the best. The picture just struck my funny bone.

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  6. So "Bawful" if that is your real name, when are these "Worsties" if that is their real name, going to be finished?

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  7. Generally the smaller the laptop the more expensive it is actually. I get your joke though.

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  8. Three things:

    1. Was this "technique" used before or after Gandalf used his pointy hat trick?

    2. Clearly your reader doesn't realize that smaller is better for electronics. I would kill a man for an Eee with extra memory.

    3. Kobe's fucking huge. I think we forget that sometimes.

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  9. Smaller laptops are better. Plus the laptop helps Kobe make his teammates better.

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  10. If appears to be a standard size laptop. If you look at the keyboard instead of looking at the screen it appears to be as big as your average laptop.

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